Posted on 03/29/2005 3:12:03 PM PST by pissant
1. Thinking your driver's licence is not real. Somehow men just don't see your driver's licence as being quite as valid as theirs. Often, they would prefer to drive the whole way – even if it's 1 500 km – rather than asking you to drive for an hour or two. Point is, percentage-wise, women are involved in far fewer accidents than men are – ask any insurance company.
2. Assuming the house cleans itself. This is a big one. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but no, wet underwear does not remove itself from the bathroom floor, food does not miraculously appear on the table, or in the fridge, clean and ironed clothes do not get into the cupboard by themselves and the dishes don't clean by themselves overnight. Someone does all these things. Who do you think it could be? Could it be the other person in the house who also has a nine-to-five job? Wouldn't it be nice to wash the dishes every now and then without expecting a Nobel Peace Prize for doing it?
3. Being jealous. It drives women away when men treat them like awaiting-trial prisoners, whose every move is under scrutiny. When men do this, it's about their own insecurities and their fear of rejection. When a man treats a woman like this, isolating her and accusing her of all sorts of things, he is showing his fear, not his love, and exhibiting what he thinks is his right to treat her like a possession. Most women find relationships like these claustrophobic in the extreme.
4. Putting their mother on a pedestal. Right, every woman has her bad and good qualities, but he thinks his mother is directly related to the archangel Gabriel. Your cooking, housekeeping skills, social skills, whatever, always fall short in comparison. And any criticism you express of this wondrous creature makes him look as if he's just been kicked in the teeth by his best friend.
5. It's win, win, win, all the way. Life, according to men, is one long competition, in which there are winners and losers. Women tend to be more co-operative and conciliatory by nature. Being fiercely competitive obviously has a place, but not when you're playing Ludo with your ten-year-old nieces and nephews.
6. Assuming their spending is necessary and women's wasteful. The subscription to the golf club is essential – more essential than toothpaste. Many men – there are fortunately exceptions – have no idea what basic household necessities cost. These days it's very easy to spend a thousand rand on unromantic household necessities like coffee, toilet cleaner, dog food and cereal. The cost of food has spiralled in South Africa in the last year, and it's not your partner's fault. She is not wasting money on luxuries.
7. Rather committing hara-kiri than asking directions. So what's the deal here? Is a man expected to know all roads leading everywhere, even if he's not been there before? And what would happen if he stopped and asked someone instead of driving in circles for 45 minutes? Instantaneous combustion? A public whipping? Instant castration? Surely not, but the prospect, for some reason, is as daunting. Almost as daunting as going to see the doctor about their foot that's starting to look gangrenous.
8. Wanting to fix things, instead of listening to you. You've had a bad day – the twins had diarrhoea, the domestic worker didn't arrive, but what did arrive was a hefty bill from the Receiver of Revenue. All you want is a sympathetic ear and a pat on the back and a tissue or two, and what do you get? Suggestions about medication, an offering to fire the domestic worker and the telephone number of his tax consultant. OK, that's kind, but it's not what you wanted. You wanted a shoulder to cry on.
9. A thing of beauty forever. Men, who have gone completely bald and who have a beer belly that would have won them the Ventersdorp Mr Boep competition if they had entered, assume that all women still find them attractive and flirt with them accordingly. What's more, they notice an extra three kilos on their wives – and comment on it. Whatever happened to what was good for the goose, being good for the gander and all that?
10. They get paid more for doing the same thing. Technically this shouldn't be the case – after all we have one of the most advanced constitutions in the world, don't we? But, statitistics still tell the sorry tale of women being stuck in low-paid, heavygoing jobs with low starting salaries and lower low glass ceilings. And, if one asks around, it still happens frequently that men are paid higher starting salaries than women are.
OK, must say I like it when the guy drives, and also like it when they get jealous (a little, none of this psycho-controlling nutso stuff).
Other than that, it's pretty dead on.
Thanks for the laugh! This is funny! And I agree about the toilet seat. Made my day.
This is the result of foreigners being "educated" in the American university system, home of the male-bashing "women's studies" curriculum.
Yeah, she forgot to mention the absolute essentialness of the week long trout fishing trip with my drinking buddies.
My husband is imperfect because he clinks his spoon into the cereal bowl with each scoop. Good thing I love him dearly, b/c he eats a lot of cereal. :)
What about the beard stubble in the sink trick?
4 out of 10. Not bad. ;o)
The world's most dangerous driver, in my opinion, is a 20 year old girl in a jetta. A very close second is a 16 year old boy in a civic with a big muffler in the back end successfully sounding like a poorly tuned Toro. But, your mileage may vary.
c'mon Shark. This is all clean stuff. Afterall, it's a pissant thread.
Yep! And my turn-off are selfishness, ungratefulness, and the absence of a capacity for logic...:-)...JFK
Around here, it is mostly (insert name of sorority here) weaving through traffic in some sort of small SUV or any of the following: Cougar, VW Beetle, or some other car that "Mummy and Daddy bought for me." I do not frighten easily, but the sorority drivers scare the crap outta me. They are often oblivious to traffic lights, traffic signs, lane change rules, other drivers, etc.
one thing that women do that irritates me is that they want my credit cards!
Womanly things that irritate the fellers requires its own thread!
Why should I ask for directions when I plotted the route ahead of time and use GPS as a backup?
And the new rod and reel too...sheesh, is she out of touch or what?
details! pffft! :-)
There is a foolproof way to stop a female complaining while in the car with you..pull over to the side of the roda, put the car in park..tell her that she can drive..get out and walk around tot he other side.....but remember to take the keys with you lest she drive off and leave you standing there..
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.