Why It's Great to be a Woman

JokesOnline ^ | 12/04 | staff

[pissant]

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

[teenyelliott]

Okay, here we go...

New Balance, which means you are middle aged.

Sitting around the house with socks on probably means you are older than me and have a bit of a circulation problem.

If you wear tennis shoes to work, probably means that you are not a subordinate.

Also would mean that you are creative, silly, self-deprecating, sarcastic fellow, who probably doesn't give a lick about what others think, but does not necessarily mean that you lack fashion sense. You know what looks good, and choose that on occasion; rarely, though.

Additionally, if you own sensible tennies (as you do), as opposed to the stupid "high fashion" kind, you are major hetero, beer drinking kind of guy.

Night night!

[Happygal]

Yeah!

We can.

Assess people by their shoes! Easy peasy!

[normy]

LOL!

[normy]

I hear what your saying and I guess that counts doesn't it! Well I guess I meant our conversation doesn't revolve around women when, as a group, we get together. Usually in my circles its the sport thats in season or NFL football, politics (you know, Chris Mathews is a fat headed punk, Ted Kennedy needs a beating) or money and sometimes religion or the state of America.

I don't want to imply that men never talk about women but aside from "the waitress is hot" thats usually it.

[pissant]

You're pretty close. You just forgot dashingly handsome.

[teenyelliott]

Prove it.

[Finger Monkey]

Oh, my gosh. That is the dumbest thing. They wouldn't stay up.

Pissant, try wearing your underwear under you buns for a day and see how it feels.

Expecting a full report with diagrams and charts.

[Finger Monkey]

I bet you are really easy to work for, and a very nice guy.

Holy moly, what a suck-up. Is patton really your boss? Or are you looking for a job. Sheesh.

[pissant]

Apparently they are selling like hotcakes. Fortunately, it's only for the ladies. So buy a pair and give 'em a test run. ;o)

[pax_et_bonum]

I gave my best employee a 42% raise this year

Hmmm.

Are you hiring?

[Finger Monkey]

Holy cow, Teeny is flirting with everyone. We've (teeny and I) had conversations about you, mr. pissant. ;0)

[patton]

I was, buit I hired 18 people this year, and my boss told me to stop.

[Finger Monkey]

Wouldn't waste me $. Women are so gullible. Thongs, under-butt panties-why bother? I have spent years (cumulatively) picking panties out of my (ahem, excuse me) butt cleavage, I am not about to wear a thong or below-the bum panties. Not gonna do it, nosir. nope. can't make me. uh-uh.

[pissant]

darn, I was wondering why my ears were getting hot!

[pissant]

Fair enough, Teeny will have to be the tester then. ;o)

[Prophet in the wilderness]

What ever happen to the womens mantra of " Equality "
Why is that ? that the man " HAS TO PAY " ?
That is one thing, that erks me about women, they have that attitude that the it's the " MAN " who has to pay.
I say, since women want " Equality " then, go pay for it YOURSELF.

[Finger Monkey]

Hee, hee.

[Finger Monkey]

She'll do it, too.

[teenyelliott]

I bet you are really easy to work for, and a very nice guy.

Holy moly, what a suck-up. Is patton really your boss? Or are you looking for a job. Sheesh.

Don't try to make me look stupid, you bee-atch. You know what I mean. If your boss came to work all muddy and unkempt, it's a fair bet he's pretty easy going, thus easy to work for. Either that or he had just driven his car into the river. You IDIOT ! Gosh!!!

[pissant]

Sorry, them's the rules. Men pay for the priveledge of a gal's company. Then we get married and long for the days when we only had to spring for a couple of dinners and a few cocktails. ;o)