Why It's Great to be a Woman

JokesOnline ^ | 12/04 | staff

[pissant]

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

[teenyelliott]

Looks like my disguise is worthless

I am sure your secret is safe. You see, most people just aren't as savvy as I am.

By the way, how accurate was I? Just curious, as I have never assessed people I cannot see. Except for the voices in my head. I know they are evil.

[infidel29]

sorry, it was in reply to #40 "backless undies..."

[pissant]

They look like they have a refreshing, breeze like quality!!

[Vor Lady]

Because we sit though, we don't have to worry about peeing on the floor around the toilet in the dark.

[Vor Lady]

Black birkenstocks; suede.

[pissant]

But you have to clean up after the hubby splashes around!! ;o)

[patton]

20.00 - Good thing. Not trying to impress anyone, not superficial, frugal. All good things, and has nothing to do with what you make.

Exactly - I do all right, income-wise, and could care less what others think.

mud - You obviously do something worthwhile, or at least interesting, with your time. Just don't track it into my house. :)

Launched a boat yesterday, 500' from the pentagon. Columbia Island Marina. Nice place to hang out.

untied - You are a slob, perhaps a little careless in personality, but not clumsy, otherwise you would not take the chance of tripping on them.

Farthest thing from it, on both counts. My guns are clean, my engines (both boats, all vehicles) in perfect tune - I cultivate a slobby look.

falling apart - You have better things to do with your time than shop for shoes, plus you just don't care. Not necessarily a bad thing.

You would not believe how little I care. Other than as camoflage.

All of the above would apply if I met you in a bar. If you wore these shoes to a job interview, I would simply assume you wanted your unemployment sheet signed.

This one is actually funny. I don't go on job interviews - if people court me the right way, and offer enough money, I will consider their job offer. Usually not, though.

[Vor Lady]

You got that right! I tell him to turn on the light at night, but he tells me he is on autopilot and not really awake.

[pissant]

Well, I'm sure you've trained him to autopilot the seat back down.....

[Vor Lady]

After 28 years, yes. He's a great guy.

[Hi Heels]

*snort* ... got YOU fooled, don't we?

[teenyelliott]

My guns are clean, my engines (both boats, all vehicles) in perfect tune

Yes, but what does your house look like? How bout your desk? What about your bathroom?

perhaps a little careless in personality

Do you ever call someone just to call, or do you wait for them to call you (my guess)? Would it occur to you to send a woman a card for no reason? Do you forget little things easily, and concentrate on the big things? Those are the kinds of things I meant. Not careless person, but careless personality.

[patton]

Well, ow.

I will have to get on that.

[teenyelliott]

Dang, I'm good.

[teenyelliott]

read the whole thread.

[Finger Monkey]

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes

That is so true. My sister, who used to be in a position to hire and fire people, always said that you can tell about people by looking at their shoes. Over the years, I have come to agree with her.

[Starter]

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

(snort) Wrong, wrong, wrong. Believe me, there may be a large number of geekish guys lusting after Lara Croft, but there are proportionally just as many geek girls lusting after Alucard or Cloud Strife. Or Snape. Or Kirk and Spock.

[freedumb2003]

Photo of man inventing fire

[pissant]

I wouldn't know about computer games. Haven't touched one since Pong.