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To: All

You may not know that many non-living things have a gender.

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags - They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers - They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire - Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon - Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges - Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page - Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway - Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass - Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer - Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control - Female....Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying


18 posted on 03/21/2005 10:52:31 AM PST by The Mayor (http://www.RusThompson.com)
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To: The Mayor

Good ones! LOL!


23 posted on 03/21/2005 11:28:00 AM PST by OESY
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To: The Mayor

LOL!!!!!

Thank you Mayor!


30 posted on 03/21/2005 11:43:22 AM PST by PreviouslyA-Lurker (...where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Corinthians 3:16-18)
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To: The Mayor

LOL

Thanks, Mayor. Makes sense to me. :)


59 posted on 03/21/2005 3:17:38 PM PST by JustAmy (Remember our President and our troops in your prayers. God Bless America.)
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To: All; The Mayor; tuliptree76; OESY; international american; PreviouslyA-Lurker; Victoria Delsoul; ...

The year 2029-----

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

* France pleads for global help after being over taken by Jamaica.

* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

And last but certainly not the least... (I love it)..

* Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting machine.


60 posted on 03/21/2005 3:19:57 PM PST by JustAmy (Remember our President and our troops in your prayers. God Bless America.)
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To: The Mayor

LOL... I really like your list of the sex of non-living things.

I have a bit of an issue with your #3:
3) Tire - Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

I seem to find that tires are more often UNDER-inflated. Does that change anything?


108 posted on 03/22/2005 5:38:06 AM PST by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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