Posted on 03/18/2005 10:01:03 AM PST by TheBigB
Howdy, gang! Wish I were a bit more up for today, but I'm trying to fight off a (Ah-CHOO!) cold. :^) Anyway. I'll leave it up to you all to post stuff, because I think I'm about to head home for the day. Have fun and enjoy! And thanks to Fierce_Allegiance for getting last week's thread running in my absence. I'll be back up to full strength next week. I promise. :^)
www.uglydress.com
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible! to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife ! 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2!
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
Thanks! Extremely funny!
One less drunk.
************
LOL!!
Sorry to hear you're ill. Get well soon!
You forgot 2 programs:
(1) YOUR MONEY IS WIFE #1s MONEY.
(2) FORGET SIGNING YOUR NAME TO YOUR CHECKS; WIFE #1 DOES THAT FOR YOU.
ROFL!! Where did you find that?
I love country music.
”Yee viz, Doc! I can’t no stand shots, ya sure!”, said Ole.
”Well”, said the doctor. “there is one other way to get you some B12 and that is from Mother’s milk. Inga Swenson had a baby a couple months ago and I know she is producing lots of milk. I work with her to express some and save it for you.”
”That’s a bit strange”, said Ole. “But considereing that da shott is no good for Ole, I’ll do it!”
Off Ole goes to Inga’s house a couple days later. Sven, her husband has been away at sea also for a few months. It is just Inga and the baby, Bengt. Ole is greeted by Inga. “Ole. I’m sorry to tell ya that the pump Doc bain give me don’t work for shiat. I have no milk for you, my gosh”
Ole is stunned and disasspointed. He is really dragging and needs that B12.
”I know what I do,” says Inga. “If you don’t mind, might you take it right from my teat?”
Ole thinks this is odd but as bad as he feels, why not!
So Inga opens her blouse and Ole starts taking some milk.
It had been a few months for Inga since the baby and Sven was away. She started to have “feelings”. Inga looked down at Ole and whispered in a passionate voice, “Ole? Is der anyting else you might want wit dis milk?”
Ole pulls away, thinks a second and says, “Ya sure! You wouldn’t have no cookies, you betcha??”
Oh god! Tell me you're talking about the beer!
It was actually one of a series of wedding photos from this wedding posted on a web site I stumbled across a while back! The dress is totally backless, too! I wish I had saved the other photos ...
Please take me off your ping list, if what you have is contagious.
(you do know I'm kidding,right?)
I love rat trees music? LOL
Could the hint have been any clearer i.e. temp tagline, though I suspect you didn't use it and got it on your own....you win a smile.
LOL!
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