Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 101-120121-140141-160 ... 181-187 next last
To: pissant

After the first two or three, who cares?


121 posted on 03/15/2005 4:58:44 PM PST by P.O.E.
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 114 | View Replies]

To: Clemenza
I have two friends who like White Zin. One likes it cold, the other likes it at room temperature, so I always have to have at least two bottles of the stuff in the house.

Keeps them happy though - I would not like to lose their friendship.

122 posted on 03/15/2005 4:59:22 PM PST by Churchillspirit (Anaheim Angels - 2002 World Series Champions)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 107 | View Replies]

To: P.O.E.

True Enough!


123 posted on 03/15/2005 4:59:22 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 121 | View Replies]

To: pissant
Vodka blasphemes a martini glass. Gin only!

And make sure you just wave the vermouth bottle quickly across the top, just to allow the fumes to permeate the rim of the glass.

124 posted on 03/15/2005 5:02:51 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 114 | View Replies]

To: Neets

LOL. A sideways glance at the vermouth bottle works too!


125 posted on 03/15/2005 5:05:52 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 124 | View Replies]

To: pissant

Oh I like that better!!!

Ever have "Boodles" Gin?


126 posted on 03/15/2005 5:07:11 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 125 | View Replies]

To: pissant

Okay, now you just gave me chills...the creepy kind!!! Eeewwww!


127 posted on 03/15/2005 5:12:07 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 120 | View Replies]

To: samiam1972

That wasn't a good Hmmmm. That was a head scratching hmmmm.


128 posted on 03/15/2005 5:16:09 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 127 | View Replies]

To: Neets

I've had oodles of Boodles, back in my yoot.


129 posted on 03/15/2005 5:17:05 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 126 | View Replies]

To: pissant

Ihave to tell you tho, I had a GrayGoose martini a few weeks ago at the club.

It really wasn't half bad.


130 posted on 03/15/2005 5:18:48 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 129 | View Replies]

To: Neets

The goose is Vodka, correct? I like stoli, the real McCoy of Vodka, but I haven't tried the goose.


131 posted on 03/15/2005 5:20:22 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 130 | View Replies]

To: pissant

Yep, Goose IS Vodka, but expensive and well worth it.

Dave & Busters also makes a great Bloody Mary using that Absolute pepper Vodka.


132 posted on 03/15/2005 5:23:04 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 131 | View Replies]

To: pissant

Whew! I was getting a little worried!


133 posted on 03/15/2005 5:26:27 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 128 | View Replies]

To: samiam1972

Had a neighbor chick in college that was pretty furry. Don't need to see that again. But I see your screen name and keep thinking monkey (as in simian). So forgive my focus or lack thereof. ;0)


134 posted on 03/15/2005 5:32:08 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 133 | View Replies]

To: Neets

I may have to sample that in the near future. But where, pray tell is Dave & Busters!


135 posted on 03/15/2005 5:33:40 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 132 | View Replies]

To: Neets

I forgot, you are on the left coast.

There is on in Philly and one in Nanuet.


136 posted on 03/15/2005 5:34:53 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 132 | View Replies]

To: pissant

So, I am a woman, and when I drink, I drink Glenlivet neat. Or on the rocks occasionally. In the winter.


137 posted on 03/15/2005 5:36:03 PM PST by mlmr (Oh! I'm six months pregnant! Time to get Married and rake in gifts and cash!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: pissant

136 was for you.


138 posted on 03/15/2005 5:36:13 PM PST by Neets
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 135 | View Replies]

To: Neets

did you mean to post to yourself or has the grey goose nipped ya? ;0)


139 posted on 03/15/2005 5:37:49 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 136 | View Replies]

To: pissant

No worries! The screen name refers to a nickname I had in school. Sammy. As in Hagar. My brother was a Van Halen fan, a guitar player. I had hair like Sammy's in the 80's so he nicknamed me. Darn thing stuck.


140 posted on 03/15/2005 5:39:33 PM PST by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 134 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 101-120121-140141-160 ... 181-187 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson