[Cowman]

An Irishman goes into a bar and orders three glasses of whiskey. The bartender asks him why he wants them all at once rather than one at a time.

"Oh I have me two brothers back in Dublin. This whiskey is for Patrick and this one for Fergus. When I order them like this it is like I'm having a drink with my dear brothers."

This goes on every day for a week until the Irishman comes in and orders only two drinks.

"Did something happen to one of your brothers?" The bartender asked. "Oh no!" The Dubliner replied, "I just decided to stop drinking."

[stainlessbanner]

Seamus the Irishman is stranded on an Island.

Out of the blue, a beautiful long-legged woman in a wetsuit with scuba gear walks up to him. Startled, a bit, Seamus says, "Hello Lady"

She replies, "How long has it been since you had a smoke?"
"A good while," says Seamus. The woman pulls a pack of smokes from her pocket, lights on for him and hands it to Seamus.

"How long has it been since you had a drink?" she asks.
"Been a good while," says Seamus. The woman reaches in her pocket and pulls out some Irish Whiskey and hands it to Seamus.

The woman looks ol Seamus in the eye and says, "How long has it been since you played around?"

Seamus' eyes got all big, "Good Lord M'lady....how'd you get a set of golf clubs in yer pocket?!"