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That business out of the way, let's have at it!
that's awesome.
I tell my 4YO daughter that I'm an old man and know lots of stuff when she asks me how I know something.
I don't know for sure. I got it in an email last week.
20. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
or
Bill Engval, I think.
IIRC, it is Engval. The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is pretty funny. Ron White is a hoot!
Not a suppository Thag hopes.....
You're right and thanks.
I'm terrible with names.
Try this:
Artist/Band: Engvall Bill
Lyrics for Song: Here's Your Sign (Get The Picture)
Lyrics for Album: Here's Your Sign (Get The Picture)
I just hate stupid people.
They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.
That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you?
You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,
never mind"
"I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California our house
was full of boxes and there was a u-Haul truck in our driveway.
My friend comes over and says, "Hey, You moving?"
"Nope."
"We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week. Just to see how many
boxes it takes."
"Here's your sign."
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass this idiot on
the dock goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?"
Nope.
"Talked 'em into giving up."
"Here's your sign."
I was out in the front yard with my boy the other day and he was
playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend and I went up to
him and I said "Hey, (smacks his boy), we don't hit." He looked up at me
like, "Here's your sign, dad."
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel, there
was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want
you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you."
"Well allright....hold my sign, I don't wanna loose it"
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
Here's your sign. Here's your sign.
Last time I was home I was driving around I had a flat tire, I pulled my
truck into one of these side-of-the-road gas statioons, the attendant walks out, looksat my truck, looks at me, I swear to GOD he went, "Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist.
I said "Nope".
"No I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on
me."
"Here's your sign."
Why can't they get the picture? Why don't they understand?
We're not dealing with the planet of apes, we're talking about the
modern man.
So you people with them itsy bitsy teensie weensie tiny minds...
People with them little bitty teenie weenie tiny minds...
Here's your sign.
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, a guy come over to the
house, drove thecar around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets outof the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Damn thats hot!"
See...
If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
Ron White is a hoot!
"They call me Tator-Salad"
Blue Colar Comedy Tour Rides Again is even better then the first. I fell off my bed when I watched it I laughed so hard! LOL
They're ALL good!
PING to my #112!
:-)
LOL!
Oh, check it out, Swordmaker!
:-)
i.e. When my wife bought me a new car I was overwhelmed.
I also know what it means to be underwhelmed.
i.e. When I got my last raise I was underwhelmed.
But what does it mean to be whelmed? Is that how we normally go through life?
Shalom.
Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White House. She has waited so long.....
The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie."
"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears... Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater."
I wonder about "discombobulated"... can one be "combobulated"?... or maybe just "bobulated"?
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