*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***

3/4/05 | TheBigB

[TheBigB]

Woo Hoo! TGIF! Time for some FRIDAAAAAAY SILLINESS!! :^) Let loose and blow off some steam...post silly pics, jokes, nonsensical statements, or even IGNORE THIS THREAD!

"Silliness, sweeeet!"

An actual book about pet care. I swear!

It's not Christmas, but still...

Fierce Allegiance says he never listened to that Debbie Gibson tape in his truck. I don't believe him. :^)

[blondatheart]

A very attractive young woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a "Ye-e-e-e ha-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills. When they finally arrived in town, he let her off at the local
service station, yelled one final, "Ye-e-e-e ha-a-a-a!" and rode off into the sunset.
"What on earth did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off," the pretty young woman answered.
"Lady," the attendant said, ".......Indians ride bareback!"

[blondatheart]

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a small tavern The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to you."
"Yes," she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "how about taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oooooooh Henry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she answers. There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on The policeman, still watching thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train. I've got to ask him what his secret is. As the couple passes, he says to them, "That was something else! You must have been having sex for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret?"
The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[JimWforBush]

I'm outta here, beerthirty for me.

[peacebaby]

LOL!

[peacebaby]

OMG! GETTING FUNNIER BY TE MINUTE....ELECTRIC FENce!

[llevrok]

ummm....was that AC or DC?

[peacebaby]

Send that to ArGee and see what his comments are...he'll contemplate those knobs a looonggg time.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

Pimp beaten by karate master

[llevrok]

It was a misunderstanding. The pimp yelled, "Get down, Jack!" and the karate expert took him literally.

[EHC Southern Pride]

ROFL!!!! LOVE IT!! Have a great friday everyone!

[r-q-tek86]

time to go...

[MBombardier]

Welcome from another fairly newbie. This is why Ted Kennedy stays in office:

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the
east (and has for some so time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I
don't keep up with that stuff."

..... and then she voted.

---

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One
day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center
was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week"

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh.. Pacific."

..... and then he voted.

---

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the admin. assistants talking about the sunburn she got
on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible,
but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

..... and then she voted.

---

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut
through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the
passenger side door's map pocket.

..... and then she voted.

---

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two
cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20%
discount.

..... and then they all voted.

---

I was hanging out with a liberal friend of mine when we saw a woman
walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My
friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her
head?"

I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same
distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

..... and then she voted.

---

My wife and I were trying to find a carry-on suitcase in one of those
huge discount stores and had become hopelessly lost. We stopped and
asked a department manager where we might find suitcases.

"Did you try in Luggage?" she asked, and returned to what she was
doing.

..... and then she voted.

---

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were
trained professionals and I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?"

..... and then she voted

[JimWforBush]

Happy Birthday Rachel

[Radix]

Xcellent!

[llevrok]

A tough day for Al

[proud American in Canada]

"Dang, I forgot to ping ya."


*tilts head and smiles*

Don't worry about it. :)

Have a great weekend!

[cyborg]

LOL

[Darksheare]

And a somewhat belated "welcome" from a currently sneezing and achy D-Sheare...
No.. stay over there, no need to get you two sneezing as well.
Honest, stay on that side of the thread I'll stay in this corner here and try not to get anyone else sick.
Really.
Serious.
*chuckle*

Have fun, and much humor.

[cyborg]

LOL

[proud American in Canada]

I know I am very late to this thread, but boy, I LOVED the cats & dogs joke. Thanks for posting it!