Posted on 03/04/2005 6:05:40 AM PST by pissant
Why are men attracted to older women? Experience, wisdom, confidence and lots of practice in bed, says Vincent Jackson When I was a teenager, my mother's stock response to jokes I made about her advancing years was, 'There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.' Of course I never really wanted to think about my mother playing a tune of any kind. However, my acne-faced classmates appeared to both understand about fiddles and know what fine melodies could be played on them. Perhaps that's why they'd continually remark: 'phwoar, I'd give yer mum one'!
Men's infatuations with older women start as soon as we're old enough to know what women are. And this curiosity surrounding the potential for pleasure with maturer females stays with us until, well - the day comes when there aren't any women left in the world older than us.
To be frank, men are initially drawn to older women (for our purposes, 'older' means at least 10 years senior) for sex. For example, Ben, a 26-year-old web designer, has been seeing a woman of 43 for nearly a year. She's reasonably affluent - has paid off her mortgage and has a two bedroom flat in North London. She also has a good career, is intellectual, very attractive, and according to Ben, 'the best shag I've ever had.'
Every single bloke I spoke to said sex was the best thing about being in a relationship with an older woman.
I imagine that their female conquests know this is the case. Let's not pull any punches here. Do you think for a minute that a 25-year-old man makes a play for a 40-year-old woman because he's interested in the Habitat crockery she may have accrued over time? Of course not. Older women tend to bring to bed a wealth of experience, confidence and tricks between the sheets that a young woman can only dream of. Show me a man who doesn't find the prospect of an experienced lover an exciting one, and I'll show you a liar
However, being an older woman doesn't necessarily guarantee good sex - if you're no good in bed at 25, who's to say you'll be a fully qualified love-goddess at 40? Yet, older women give the impression that they're better in bed because they're more comfortable with themselves. All those hang-ups about having a slight tummy, stretch marks or the odd spot of cellulite tend to become less important with age. A few of the men I spoke to insisted that they found these flaws attractive - a sign of a body that is real and lived in. As Ben says of his older lover, 'She's much more relaxed about herself and her body than many of the girls my age that I've slept with. She knows that her body is showing slight signs of ageing, but she accepts it and just gets on with life.'
Of course, sex is not the only allure of a younger man, older woman partnership. In fact, it would be easy to question why some men want to date women roughly the same age as their mothers, especially when the spectre of Oedipus looms so large. Ultimately, however, a bloke's motivation doesn't need to subjected to Freudian psychoanalysis. Put simply, mature women are, well, mature - they are older and wiser in their world view, and that's what a young man finds attractive.
By the time a woman reaches her mid-thirties, she's acquired confidence, the art of conversation, her own individual perspective on life and, most importantly, wisdom - a very sexy trait. Older women generally know what they want from life and in love and this can be refreshing after the annoying and frustrating relationship games so many younger women play. Older women also tend to be - well, richer - and sometimes young men get fed up with dining out at Spud-U-Like.
What about me? I've never had the pleasure of dating an older woman, but I'm 28 so there's still time. Since the age of 12 I've had various crushes on older ladies - teachers, family friends, the woman who worked in the video shop, a few non-blood related aunties (slightly dubious territory, I admit), and, just like my old school friends, my mates' mums. But I've never actually taken the plunge. However, I'm sure there's a fiddle out there with my name on it, and when I do get my chance, I'm certain its strings will yield some mighty fine music.
Well, being over the age of 40, the age of a hottie keeps increasing for me!
Unfortuantely, alot of guys when they get to a midlife crisis, start looking to the twenty-somethings for validation.
Or maybe he's checking out the bottle of Jack Daniels she's carrying in her right hand.
At *base*, yes, but believe it or not there are some who are capable of what is mostly just "puppy love"! The cute old-fashioned kinds, not the outta-control post-modern beasts.
I don't listen much to modern pop either, but I do catch it sometimes, so usually I eventually hear of these things. Mostly I'm a country person (again, nicer culture not as into that sex-is-all crap ;-) ) as far as current stuff is concerned. I do like some newer pop songs, but mostly I listen to everything else that pre-dates the '90s and me.
or the gas cloud floating behind her....
Wow, so like when your 60 you'll want an 80 year old (somehow I doubt that)
Anyway - It doesn't matter...I'LL always be older than you. ;)
My first two, um, close encounters were with older women, one 5 years older, one 15 years older. My experiences only made me a more considerate boyfriend in the years that followed.
Well, the country singer chicks are a pack of babes (Martina, Allison & Sara Evans in partic.) so I occassionally tune into CMT. (I know alot of freeperettes think the country guys are studs too). Good music for road trips too.
One of my son's best friends (22 years old) has a crush on me (48). He said he has always liked older women. I told him I was flattered but no way!!!! He even makes comments in front of my son, who laughs.
Your experiences made you more considerate to your boyfriend? That's brave of you to come out of the closet!
"My experiences only MADE ME A more considerate boyfriend" (emphasis added)
Interesting how YOU are the one with homosexuality on YOUR mind--a little projection on your part. Freudian slip, there. Admitting your perversion is the first step.
It's basic math. 28 can go into 50 more times than 50 into 28.
I figured that would get your ire up. Cheers. ;o}
you're a genius
I saw an old Benny Hill the other night. He was singing a song about older women. Something like,
"They don't tell,
They don't yell,
And they're grateful as hell."
Benny Hill is the best.
I was 17 and my girl friend's mom, 42. She was always sweet and had a "way" about her. Nothing overt, just that something.
When I got out of university, I stopped by to say hello. We shared a bottle of wine. Nothing happened other than a permanent soft spot in my heart for her and all classy women.
Be kind to the boy.
My first girlfriend was an older woman. I was eight and she was nine. She gave me her lunch money to be her boyfriend and kiss her. Boy was I mad when my family moved to another state. Never did get another gig like that one.
You leech!
Oh, I'm just joking ... she never had a penny to her name; it was the sex.
Oooookay!!
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