Posted on 03/04/2005 6:05:40 AM PST by pissant
Why are men attracted to older women? Experience, wisdom, confidence and lots of practice in bed, says Vincent Jackson When I was a teenager, my mother's stock response to jokes I made about her advancing years was, 'There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.' Of course I never really wanted to think about my mother playing a tune of any kind. However, my acne-faced classmates appeared to both understand about fiddles and know what fine melodies could be played on them. Perhaps that's why they'd continually remark: 'phwoar, I'd give yer mum one'!
Men's infatuations with older women start as soon as we're old enough to know what women are. And this curiosity surrounding the potential for pleasure with maturer females stays with us until, well - the day comes when there aren't any women left in the world older than us.
To be frank, men are initially drawn to older women (for our purposes, 'older' means at least 10 years senior) for sex. For example, Ben, a 26-year-old web designer, has been seeing a woman of 43 for nearly a year. She's reasonably affluent - has paid off her mortgage and has a two bedroom flat in North London. She also has a good career, is intellectual, very attractive, and according to Ben, 'the best shag I've ever had.'
Every single bloke I spoke to said sex was the best thing about being in a relationship with an older woman.
I imagine that their female conquests know this is the case. Let's not pull any punches here. Do you think for a minute that a 25-year-old man makes a play for a 40-year-old woman because he's interested in the Habitat crockery she may have accrued over time? Of course not. Older women tend to bring to bed a wealth of experience, confidence and tricks between the sheets that a young woman can only dream of. Show me a man who doesn't find the prospect of an experienced lover an exciting one, and I'll show you a liar
However, being an older woman doesn't necessarily guarantee good sex - if you're no good in bed at 25, who's to say you'll be a fully qualified love-goddess at 40? Yet, older women give the impression that they're better in bed because they're more comfortable with themselves. All those hang-ups about having a slight tummy, stretch marks or the odd spot of cellulite tend to become less important with age. A few of the men I spoke to insisted that they found these flaws attractive - a sign of a body that is real and lived in. As Ben says of his older lover, 'She's much more relaxed about herself and her body than many of the girls my age that I've slept with. She knows that her body is showing slight signs of ageing, but she accepts it and just gets on with life.'
Of course, sex is not the only allure of a younger man, older woman partnership. In fact, it would be easy to question why some men want to date women roughly the same age as their mothers, especially when the spectre of Oedipus looms so large. Ultimately, however, a bloke's motivation doesn't need to subjected to Freudian psychoanalysis. Put simply, mature women are, well, mature - they are older and wiser in their world view, and that's what a young man finds attractive.
By the time a woman reaches her mid-thirties, she's acquired confidence, the art of conversation, her own individual perspective on life and, most importantly, wisdom - a very sexy trait. Older women generally know what they want from life and in love and this can be refreshing after the annoying and frustrating relationship games so many younger women play. Older women also tend to be - well, richer - and sometimes young men get fed up with dining out at Spud-U-Like.
What about me? I've never had the pleasure of dating an older woman, but I'm 28 so there's still time. Since the age of 12 I've had various crushes on older ladies - teachers, family friends, the woman who worked in the video shop, a few non-blood related aunties (slightly dubious territory, I admit), and, just like my old school friends, my mates' mums. But I've never actually taken the plunge. However, I'm sure there's a fiddle out there with my name on it, and when I do get my chance, I'm certain its strings will yield some mighty fine music.
The Bellamy Brothers
"If I said you had a beautiful body would you
hold it against me"
Country music's redeeming value. Titles like these in # 119.
Toby Keith's "Beer for my Horses" is a newer gem of a title.
How discouraging!
This thread was abandoned for the more popular "Why do men want younger women?"
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1356292/posts?page=8
I think timing is everything. I wish I had reversed the order of the threads. I prefer this one.
I saw this on your tagline. Isn't it just the wildest thing! It's like watching a train wreck - you know you should turn away - but you can't.
Is that a clock around your neck or are you just happy to see me?
Hmmm. That's funny. No more than a half hour ago I was reading a thread whining about how men always go for younger women.
Losers of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but your blaming rights.
And the same idiot started both these threads!
LOL! Nice work!
I really had to think about putting that in my tagline because I was almost afraid to admit that I watched the show. I think that they are the most bizarre couple I've ever seen.
Your secret is safe with me!
LOL!
WINE!
Good idea.
Shhh...keep your voice down. Someone might hear you. ;-)
Maybe a billion reasons.
Hmmm. My last husband was 13 years younger than me. The problem with it was that he was immature beyond anything I wanted to cope with.
Good songs.
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