THE AMAZING RACE VII --TAR7-- Official Show Thread & photo preview

Here we go again, race fans, for the Seventh Season of The Amazing Race (TAR7). We'll vicariously travel with eleven teams as they fly, drive, climb, crawl, leap, slide, and boogie around the world to compete for one million dollars. They'll never know where they're going next or what they'll have to do once there. The last team to arrive at the "designated pit stop" at the end of each week's episode will be eliminated from the race -- unless it is not. So pull up your favorite armchair and travel along with the Freeper Amazing Race contingent every Tuesday night for the next few months as we root for favorites, throw tomatoes at the others, and wish we were the ones living dangerously. BON VOYAGE!

Brian, 27 & Greg, 24 are brothers from Santa Monica, California. Brian is an actor/bartender and Greg is a bouncer. Their primary motivation for participating in the Race is to travel the world with each other and meet new people. Veto!s opinion: Team Bro wants face time on tv. They are big, strong, in shape, and they think they're action stars. But are they wily? Could be they'll be eating other teams' dust.

Debbie & Bianca are best friends from Los Angeles, California and Woodbridge, Virginia, respectively. Bianca is a high school teacher and Debbie works as a photographer. Both are highly educated, experienced travelers, and have lived abroad. Veto!s opinion: Keep an eye on these two. Unless they scratch each other’s eyes out, they’ll probably do just fine.

Lynn & Alex are (would you believe?) a gay couple from West Hollywood, California. They both work as executive assistants. With their four-year anniversary on the horizon, they possibly hope to get married in Amsterdam—if indeed they race through Amsterdam. Veto!s opinion: Need I say?

Megan & Heidi, a make-up artist and fashion designer, are roommates from Oak Park, California. Both are allegedly extremely competitive and not afraid to take risks. They decided to sign up for the Race “just for the challenge and competition.” Veto!s opinion:. Can the Hair Queens keep up the pace when their tresses get tangled? I see hissy fits on the horizon.

Meredith, 69, & Gretchen, 66, are a husband/wife team from Easton, Maryland. Meredith is a retired executive and Gretchen is a retired nurse/flight attendant. He holds seven National Masters Swimming Championship titles, she admits to being quite loud, particularly when upset. . Veto!s opinion: If Gretch doesn’t turn into Nurse Ratched, they may go far and win Freeper kudos for their efforts.

Ray, 44, & Deana, 27, are a dating-on-and-off team from Canfield, Ohio and Youngstown, Ohio respectively. Ray, a former semi-pro football player, is a stockbroker and Deana is a marketing and promotions executive. Both enjoy weight lifting and karate. Veto!s opinion:This season’s “will their relationship last?” team. Ray will overdo it trying to beat younger guys. Ho-hum.

Rob, 29, & Amber, 26, AKA Boston Rob and Ambuh, are an engaged couple from Canton, Massachusetts and Beaver, Pennsylvania, respectively. They formed an alliance and fell in love when they competed with each other on “Survivor: All Stars.” Amber won the one million dollar prize. Rob finished as the $100k runner-up, but proposed to Amber before they knew which had won the big bucks. Veto!s opinion: Two Thumbs Up! Highly athletic and competitive, these two know how to work together. But will their “take-over-the-‘hood” skills that won them Survivor translate to racing’s Hall of Fame? Why, indeed, not?

Ron, 28, & Kelly, 26, are a dating Team from Villa Rica, Georgia and Greenville, South Carolina, respectively. Ron is a former Iraq War POW who is currently a student at the University of Georgia and works as a motivational speaker. Kelly was crowned Miss South Carolina in 2002 and works as a Legislative Correspondent…(for whom?) Ron was an Apache helicopter pilot in Iraq. When shot down, he was captured, interrogated, held captive and later rescued by the United States Marines. Following his rescue, Ron returned home and was introduced to the reigning Miss South Carolina. The two have been an item ever since. Ron is very competitive and admits he’s a thrill seeker. . Veto!s opinion: Two more thumbs 'way up. They’ll be Freepers’ favorites, and they have what it takes to win.

Ryan, 31, & Chuck, 32, are lifelong friends from Landrum, South Carolina and Inman, South Carolina, respectively. Ryan is a general contractor, and Chuck works in boiler tube replacement sales. Both are motorcycle nuts and very religious. . Veto!s opinion: Definitely wily Southern boys. Up against tough competition, but I hope they make a good showing.

Uchenna, 40, & Joyce, 44, a childless married couple from Houston. Uchenna worked for Enron as an energy trader and Joyce worked in sales for WorldCom, have different jobs since their companies went bankrupt. If they win, they say they’ll use the money for in-vitro fertilization. Veto!s opinion:A tough, scrappy pair, but too much tension here, methinks, for them to get much traction. They’re hardly Kim and Chip, the wonderful black couple who won Amazing Race two seasons back.

Susan, 54, & Patrick, 26, are mother and gay son. She is the Director for Judicial Affairs for Miami University in Ohio and Patrick is a writer now living in Hollywood. Susan, married to Patrick’s father for 34 years, earned her college degree as a “non-traditional” student. Patrick says his family has always been very supportive of him,even —surprise, surprise-- when he told them he was gay. Veto!s opinion: They’re looking for love in all the wrong places; hopefully, their elimination from the show will be swift and merciful.

Don’t forget to watch the Amazing Race’s “Special” tonight at 9 Easter/Pacific.

How special will it be? I think they’ve left it intentionally vague. They do promise never-before-seen footage, so it will probably be outtakes from past laps of TAR7. If we’re lucky, there may be additional racing, taking them Out of Africa, which you’ll probably agree is about time. Whatever happened to Europe and Asia, guys?

Recap of Last Night's Race

Though the Race basically went nowhere last night, it was fast-paced and fun to watch, especially if you enjoy seeing giraffes and elephants and ostriches running around in the wild. Teams’ relationships were examined by the cameras, with interesting though unsurprising qualities revealed.

Here’s a quick rundown, culled from CBS and the notes I jotted down during the show.

Itinerary:
Botswana, going from nowhere to nowhere
1. Drive 141 miles to Maun, and another 48 to Sankuyo Village where a clue awaits under the water tower
2. Detour: Milk It or Carry It -- milk goats or balance stuff on their heads
3. Drive 21 miles to a point along the Khwai River
4. Roadblock: Drive thru “croc infested” river, move trees felled by elephants from a “road.”
5. Drive 9 miles to the Pit Stop, Khwai River Safari Lodge,

Teams leave the Pit Stop within an hour of one another. Relly leaves first at 5:29 a.m., followed four minutes later by Romber, with Rob saying “The gloves are off.” Juchenna leaves eight minutes later, Uchenna commenting that his dad was born in Nigeria. One minute later ExLax takes off, declaring “We’re sneaky.” Metch leaves 20 minutes after ExLax and Bregg leaves ten minutes after that, joking about seeing another sunrise together: “We should be dating.”

Teams must drive 141 miles past the city of Maun and then drive 48 miles to Sankuyo Village to find the clue under a water tower. We see a lot of driving footage and wild animals wandering on and off the dirt road, which are truly cool. Amber comments that she always wanted to go on an African safari. Rob says, “It’s going to be about 140 degrees today.”

Driving through mud and water, Ron says, “Now this is real African safari four-wheeling.” Relly arrives first at the water tower and find the clue, a Detour, Carry It or Milk It. They start carrying buckets of water on their heads without using their hands, heading for a cooking area 70 yards away. If Teams can master the balancing act, this should be a quick Detour. But Ron uses his hands and Kelly can’t move two steps without the bucket falling off. They start trading insults, with Ron muttering: “Miss Ballet can’t balance the bucket.” at his pageant queen girlfriend, who is increasingly acting exactly like a pageant queen. Theirs is hardly a romance made in heaven! Relly moves to the goat pen where they must round up four goats and milk them until they fill a ten-ounce cup. Since the goats are disinclined to cooperate, this could take some time.

As Relly starts rounding up goats, Romber arrives and tries to balance baskets of corn on their heads, but quickly decide it isn’t going to work and race over to grab goats. Kelly continues to snipe at Ron, who’s doing the milking, but Amber takes on the milking chore and does an excellent job, as Rob holds the goats and gives her encouragement. It’s a milking race for the lead.

Meanwhile, Juchenna, ExLax and Metch arrive and start in on their tasks. Uchenna absolutely aces the carrying task, and Joyce is good enough too. ExLax tries the balancing act but fails abysmally, forcing Alex to milk goats. Gretch picks goats with promising udders and Meredith is handy with milking. The squirting contest is on.

Relly fills their cup first and opens the clue telling them to drive through the bush to a particular place 21 miles away along the Khwai River. Romber leaves right behind them, with Juchenna following closely, leaving Metch and Exlax squirting away.

But wait! Where is Bregg? Would you believe that the blundering brothers are climbing the wrong water tower? Brain scratches his head. “We’re idiots, Gregg.” They reread their clue and finally arrive at the correct water tower. As Metch and ExLax finish the Detour, Bregg begins to milk goats, Brian quips, “We need some frosted flakes or something. Some Cheerios.” With the help of a bountiful goat, they quickly fill the cup and head off to the Khwai River.

Along the dirt road, ExLax’s truck breaks down. A new one is delivered in record time, allowing them to stay ahead of the bros.

Relly reaches the Route Marker just seconds ahead of Romber. They open their clues to find a Roadblock, requiring one person to navigate their Team’s vehicle through a crocodile-infested river crossing. Then, continuing through the bush, the driver must choose a driving path by removing the marking posts along the way. However, trees felled by elephants blocked each path. The racer must remove logs in the path, then drive to the next clue.

Relly plows through the river first, with Romber on their heels. Juchenna arrives third, and Uchenna gets stuck for a moment mid-river. No problem, his truck started up and he got through. But when Joyce goes back to remove the marking post, she only removes the ribbon attached to it. Bad mistake. Metch and ExLax arrive at the Roadblock, with Meredith and Alex opting to take the wheel.

Romber takes the lead as Rob aces the task of chaining logs to his truck and pulling them off the path. No sweat for a guy who knows construction, especially since Amber keeps up a stream of praise and admiration. After clearing the second log from the road, Romber found the next clue telling them to drive to the Pit Stop.

Ron takes longer, Kelly kvetches and nags. Ron snaps, “ “Shut up. I’m doing it as fast as I can,” and warns Miss Pageant Queen to “chill for a minute.” Believing he told her to shut the F... up, she calls Ron “a piece-of-trash redneck.” Relly is imploding. Will it have an effect on their racing abilities?

Pulling into the Khwai River Lodge, Romber stepped onto the mat in first place, winning a five-day vacation in Monte Carlo at Le Meridien hotel. They WILL break the bank at the casino.

Relly finished a close second. Ron commented, “Kelly and I are kind of starting to get up under each other’s skin finally.” Kelly the Grammar Queen added, “It’s kind of hard right now to really feel close to him. So I just try to put the Lord first and hope that that helps with Ron and I’s relationship.” Where did they get this girl? Is she superficial or what?

Arriving on the mat in third place, Uchenna & Joyce were shocked to learn they hadn’t completed the Roadblock correctly. They had to return to finish it before Phil could check them in. But they had enough of a lead on the last three Teams, they returned to the Pit Stop retaining their third-place slot.

Metch arrives fourth but they too made a booboo and must return to pick up their clue. Meanwhile, ExLax has had a second truck mishap, getting a flat tire. Again, TAR's production crew gets them back into the race in record time and they sneak into the Pit Stop in fourth place. They stopped along the way to put on layers of clothing, believing they were in last place and would be deprived of money and possessions if this were a non-elimination lap. It was quite a humorous moment but does not exonerate them from the cloying, disgusting, revolting baby, sweetie, honey language they've been dripping througout the race.

So the race is between Metch and Bregg for last place. Metch wanders around looking for the clue they missed while Gregg completes the log-clearing task in good efficient manly style. Bregg decided to put on their swim trunks and wool caps and scarves in hopes that Phil wouldn’t eliminate them and force them to wear this attire for the remainder of the Race.

In the end, Metch beats Bregg back to the lodge. They've been doing an excellent job in this race, hanging in, I believe, longer than any other AARP couple. (I could be wrong.)

Sadly, Bregg is eliminated from the race. Poor Brian and Gregg, victims of California public schools. They had everything it takes to win this thing except the ability to think things through thoroughly. But they’ll do just fine back in SoCal, where all of their friends have exactly the same problems. Will they look up the Megan and Heidi, SoCal Hair Queens? You bet!

Teams finished in the same order as last week, with only Romber and Relly changing places for first and second place:

1. Romber
2. Relly
3. Juchenna
4. ExLax
5. Metch
Bregg ELIMINATED

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