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Speaking of beautiful lyrics:

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable. 
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over] 
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis. 
[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
a while, then out]

The poster has a point, they don't make romantic songs like they used to... I remember crooning this one to my date on the way back from the demolition derby....

Frank Zappa - Dirty Love Lyrics
Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams

Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams

I don't need your sweet devotion
An' I don't want your cheap emotion
Whip me up some dragon lotion
For your dirty love
Your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer

Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you never seen
His book before

I don't need no consolation
I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love
Your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do
(Oh, Frenchie . . . )

Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew

I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love
Some dirty love
That dirty love
That dirty love

THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Not a speck of cereal!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Nothing but the best for my dog!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Come on!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Little paws sticking up!)
THE POODLE BITES!
(Little curly hairs!)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Little curly hairs!)