Go 2 Pup: Will they ever throw a golden a bone? (no Golden has ever won Best in Show!)

Seattle Post ^ | 2.14.05

[ambrose]

Monday, February 14, 2005

Go 2 Pup: Will they ever throw a golden a bone?

By WILLIE GUEST COLUMNIST

As a member of the canine race, I will watch and once again be outraged by the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (Monday and Tuesday nights at 8 on USA Network).

I readily acknowledge its storied existence as the second-longest continuously held sports event behind the Kentucky Derby. The grand-doggie of them all started in 1877.

But it's a sham, fixed like I am. A golden retriever has never won Best in Show. The world's greatest breed -- blanked, shut out, royally screwed over.

A golden hasn't even won its own group title since 1968. And it's not like goldens are battling Muhammad Collie or something. No, their sporting group includes other underachiever retrievers such as Chesapeake Bays and labs.

I believe goldens are getting hosed by a French judge who is on the take or biased toward poodles and Papillons.

Or maybe there's another reason. USA color commentator Dave Frei said goldens don't have the "edge" that other breeds have in the ring. I thought we lived to chase tennis balls, beg for treats, shed, sleep, swim and jump on visitors.

But Frei says our whole life revolves around pleasing our people. We don't care so much about pleasing judges -- or wives of our people, for that matter, especially ones who yell "Willie, no!" all the time.

So we'll be huge underdogs again this year, and there's more terrible news. Frei thinks a dog from the toy group will probably win Best in Show. How that is possible, I have no idea.

It would be hard, but I could accept a winner from the Working Dog group. It was cool when that Newfoundland won last year. He was stately and worthy.

I could even stomach a terrier. But a rat-dog? A worthless yipster, reigning as champion of the dog world? It's possible, Frei saying the toy group is the toughest group.

Among the rat-dog contenders -- a world-class poodle and Pekingese, and a Pomeranian co-owned by Bill Cosby. The poodle is trained by Tim Brazier of Mill Creek.

Frei also mentioned a long-coat Chihuahua, and the thought of these one-bite happy meals winning makes me so sick that I plan to eat grass during the telecasts.

Even dogs from the hound group have a better record than goldens. How can a drooling, stinky Basset Hound win, or a baying, annoying Beagle?

Then you've got those damn Dachshunds. At this year's show, there will be three varieties and 64 in all. That's what I want to see, 64 wiener dogs on my master's TV, some no doubt sponsored by Oscar Mayer.

And I'm just wondering -- does a Corgi owner actually think his dog has a shot? A Corgi looks like it wanted to be a dog but was bored one night in the 17th century and mated with a Dachshund, becoming the laughable low-rider it is today.

The Westminster accepts all pure-bred dogs, anything but mutts. The entry limit of 2,500 was reached in less than an hour. Seventy-six dogs are from Washington. There are three new breeds this year, including the Neapolitan Mastiff, which appears to be a cross between a Chinese Shar-Pei and an English Bulldog on steroids.

I won't miss a minute of the action, but I would find it more interesting if they added new categories such as "Smartest Dog," "Dumbest Dog" and "Worst in Show."

For "Smartest Dog," if it weren't a golden, it would have to be a border collie. The "Dumbest Dog" race would have an Irish Setter, Afghan Hound and Maltese in a photo finish.

A standard-sized poodle would run away with "Worst in Show" honors.

(People, if you want a poodle, get a little one. If you want a real dog, get a real dog.

And if you want to be taken seriously, lose the shears; your dog looks like a badly pruned shrub.)

The Go 2 Wife thinks I'd win for "Stinky-est Dog," but that's not true. I just smell ... an upset and a golden first at Westminster.

Willie's owner, P-I columnist Jim Moore, can be reached at 206-448-8013 or jimmoore@seattlepi.com. His columns appear Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

[peacebaby]

thanks for the link to your website. Labradoodles are beautiful dogs. I didn't know about them.

Cuddly little things!

I;ve just shown your webiste to my FedEx lady. Now she knows.

[peacebaby]

Thanks for the reply. I owned a show Aussie, came to us at 3 months, having just won best puppie. He got his championship a few years later.

[Snowy]

My golden is a search and rescue dog. Here he is on Sunday making a find and coming back to tell me. Let's see a toy breed do this!

[IllumiNaughtyByNature]

I am just learning that they are a lot like Mastiffs/Bulldogs and a little human too. Mugsy (her name) is a hoot. At only 16 weeks and 9 lbs. she has everything my wife and I could have asked for in a dog. Very smart and was paper trained at 9 weeks. Do you have a pug?

[1Old Pro]

Whatever, the dog that wins the best prize is the one that has a great owner......that makes millions of happy dogs (and happy owners).

[HairOfTheDog]

I have a knee-jerk anathema to the popular retrievers.

At least you realize it's more social disorder than reasoned judgment. ;~D

I think labs and goldens have stood the test of time. They aren't a fad, they're the standard. :~D

[the OlLine Rebel]

No, I'm a German Shepherd person, die-hard. There are many breeds I wouldn't mind having as I'd like to get my hands in everything, but since I generally only believe in 1 dog at a time, it'll likely always be Shepherds! Which is sort of a shame cuz I'd like to have a Collie (esp a Smooth) just once. And an Irish Wolfhound. And a Pug. ;-)

I think ever since the police did a big demonstration at my elementary school w/only GS, I've been smitten for life. I never thought much about or noticed specific breeds before that. I think those K9 guys are the cause of my obsession. Once "bitten", twice smitten!

[the OlLine Rebel]

Nah, the standard of the world is GS. No1 ever did so much different *work*, and started it all, for a century, now! I bet if all the plain #s were counted up, GS would be the "most popular" in the entire world. ;-)

Actually it's not just my anathema to "popularity". It's partly my viewpoint on general behavior characteristics. My own view is that Goldens in particular are too goofy. I like dogs that can be playful & happy yet are serious & mature. Good-natured adult-like, not perpetual goofball children. That's my view of most Goldens that I've known of (which isn't saying much, but hey, most people here in truth know little about any given dog, either). Labs can be that way, but frankly I've also seen more serious Labs, so I rate them higher.

Between the goofiness and the popularity, I guess I just can't get much into the popular retrievers!

[HairOfTheDog]

It's all preferences... You like action movies or comedies or fantasies? Or maybe a little of each?

You know me... I love shepherds too. And I've been mostly taking in stray mutts of late ;~D

[the OlLine Rebel]

I'm not as open-minded as you. I think I "make a decision" and stick w/it, hard. Like my love for GS (K9 Corps demos), and my relative dislike for Goldens (seeing too many goofy 1s who can't be good guard dogs as pets; my view is dogs should be ~minimally~ useful since even the best 1s cause some inconvenience like ~having~ to be home to let them potty). Of course there are lots out there I think would be neat, and others I think I couldn't care less about, tho I don't know much about their personalities or other issues.

Movies? I like alot; if anything it's "drama" I tend "not" to like (not always, of course). I like all kinds from the truly classic eras, esp. musicals and comedies as a whole. ;-) I'm versatile - hey, another reason I love GS!

You're right it's all preferences. 1 of my biases on dogs is ears - I much, much, much prefer natural prick ears. "Natural" meaning, find me 1 animal in the real wild world that has drop ears. Prick ears look alert and intelligent. The latter meaning alot to me (and probably why I was always willing to like all cats)! :D

[American Quilter]

I'm a cat person, but if I got a dog it would be a golden. They're so friendly, happy, and beautiful. My sister, a dog groomer, says they're stupid, but since she owns an afhan hound, and is a definite dog snob, I don't think she's the best judge.