My late Logan, RIP
Other articles with keyword "DOGGIEPING" since 12/29/04
Posted on 02/14/2005 1:36:01 PM PST by ambrose
Monday, February 14, 2005
Go 2 Pup: Will they ever throw a golden a bone?
By WILLIE GUEST COLUMNIST
As a member of the canine race, I will watch and once again be outraged by the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (Monday and Tuesday nights at 8 on USA Network).
I readily acknowledge its storied existence as the second-longest continuously held sports event behind the Kentucky Derby. The grand-doggie of them all started in 1877.
But it's a sham, fixed like I am. A golden retriever has never won Best in Show. The world's greatest breed -- blanked, shut out, royally screwed over.
A golden hasn't even won its own group title since 1968. And it's not like goldens are battling Muhammad Collie or something. No, their sporting group includes other underachiever retrievers such as Chesapeake Bays and labs.
I believe goldens are getting hosed by a French judge who is on the take or biased toward poodles and Papillons.
Or maybe there's another reason. USA color commentator Dave Frei said goldens don't have the "edge" that other breeds have in the ring. I thought we lived to chase tennis balls, beg for treats, shed, sleep, swim and jump on visitors.
But Frei says our whole life revolves around pleasing our people. We don't care so much about pleasing judges -- or wives of our people, for that matter, especially ones who yell "Willie, no!" all the time.
So we'll be huge underdogs again this year, and there's more terrible news. Frei thinks a dog from the toy group will probably win Best in Show. How that is possible, I have no idea.
It would be hard, but I could accept a winner from the Working Dog group. It was cool when that Newfoundland won last year. He was stately and worthy.
I could even stomach a terrier. But a rat-dog? A worthless yipster, reigning as champion of the dog world? It's possible, Frei saying the toy group is the toughest group.
Among the rat-dog contenders -- a world-class poodle and Pekingese, and a Pomeranian co-owned by Bill Cosby. The poodle is trained by Tim Brazier of Mill Creek.
Frei also mentioned a long-coat Chihuahua, and the thought of these one-bite happy meals winning makes me so sick that I plan to eat grass during the telecasts.
Even dogs from the hound group have a better record than goldens. How can a drooling, stinky Basset Hound win, or a baying, annoying Beagle?
Then you've got those damn Dachshunds. At this year's show, there will be three varieties and 64 in all. That's what I want to see, 64 wiener dogs on my master's TV, some no doubt sponsored by Oscar Mayer.
And I'm just wondering -- does a Corgi owner actually think his dog has a shot? A Corgi looks like it wanted to be a dog but was bored one night in the 17th century and mated with a Dachshund, becoming the laughable low-rider it is today.
The Westminster accepts all pure-bred dogs, anything but mutts. The entry limit of 2,500 was reached in less than an hour. Seventy-six dogs are from Washington. There are three new breeds this year, including the Neapolitan Mastiff, which appears to be a cross between a Chinese Shar-Pei and an English Bulldog on steroids.
I won't miss a minute of the action, but I would find it more interesting if they added new categories such as "Smartest Dog," "Dumbest Dog" and "Worst in Show."
For "Smartest Dog," if it weren't a golden, it would have to be a border collie. The "Dumbest Dog" race would have an Irish Setter, Afghan Hound and Maltese in a photo finish.
A standard-sized poodle would run away with "Worst in Show" honors.
(People, if you want a poodle, get a little one. If you want a real dog, get a real dog.
And if you want to be taken seriously, lose the shears; your dog looks like a badly pruned shrub.)
The Go 2 Wife thinks I'd win for "Stinky-est Dog," but that's not true. I just smell ... an upset and a golden first at Westminster.
Willie's owner, P-I columnist Jim Moore, can be reached at 206-448-8013 or jimmoore@seattlepi.com. His columns appear Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
I'm tired of seeing those ugly little 'foo 'foo dogs win year after year.
On the other hand most Golden's could not care less if they got an award- they are too busy being playful and making their families happy.
I like Jack Russel terriers, they're big dogs in a little package.
My German short-hair pointer agrees with you.
"The Westminster accepts all pure-bred dogs,...."
Not true. The snobs don't recognize Australian Shepherds. Wish they did because IMO Aussies are one of the most beautiful breeds of dogs.
Golden retrievers are everywhere! But they are beautiful, more so than that Chihauahahahahah, or the little doggie that looks like a mop, what's it's name.
Goldens don't need no stinkin' awards. They just play and be happy. I had 8 wonderful years with mine and I still miss him every day.
Thag
My late Logan, RIP
I'd to see a Peke or Boxer or English Bulldog win.
Enough with the poodles.
I love dogs...showed a few Dobies and Old English years back in small regional shows..but I never got the whole Best in Show thing...look, suppose you had shows for cars..best SUV, best famill sedan, best sportscar, whatever..you can compare within each class, but how do you judge a Ferrari against a BMW SUUV?
I agree with you. They should stop at best of breed.
I think Willie's a little jealous. The poodle is one of the smartest dogs, and there is nothing more majestic than a standard poodle. I will it to Willie that the hair cut with the little pompoms on the hips are ridiculous!
And I applaud Willie's recognition that the border collie is the next best dog. The border collie is the Aussie with the tail.
And I noticed Willie did say that working dogs were in now, so I'll be watching tonight!
Wow.,..that was easy....since YOU agree with ME, (G) kindly put me on your ping list....thanks..
Never gonna happen, not so long as the judges consist of elderly women and gay men who just loooooooove those little rat dogs. I went back through the winners some time ago, and something like 3/4'ths of the winners of Best in Show have been breeds that weigh less than 35 pounds - Springers are about as big you can get and still have a shot at winning.
Logan was SUCH a beauty!!
OK Willie... I admit that with wire haired, long haired, mini and standard, Daschunds have a bit of an advantage but THEY NEVER WIN. Why? Because they have to compete against sight hounds. What weirdo decided to match daschunds against pharoh hounds in the same group.
I agree that border collies would be in the finish for smartest dogs but they are totally too OCD to live with. I love the Australian Cattle dogs which, in my book, would win the new catagory of REAL DOG. Except that's the problem when you show them, they slink in like a wild preditor which is what they are with a very thin layer of civilization and training. We all know that they dream of ripping the throats out of small children but are just too smart and well trained to do it.
And thank you for leaving Labs out of the running altogether. What a total loser of a dog. They are soooo dumb and they shed constantly and want to sit in your lap. Labs are what people want who can't decide on what dog they want.
Note to self: Please disregard any future posts by this Mercat person, as they have a really screwed up value system. ;~D
The AKC recognizes Australian Shepherds:
http://www.akc.org/breeds/australian_shepherd/index.cfm
Oh, and more about daschunds. A true standard is an amazing dog. We had one once who ran with us when we road bikes and could chase down a rabbit. He was covered with scars from getting into scraps with dogs three times his size. And one New Years eve, he came to the party with us but wanted to leave before midnight. Just before midnight, he returned with a large german shepherd in heat, his date. They hung around for a while and then left again so there are a lot of weird looking german shepherds running around Douglas county KS.
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