Only a rabid Scotchophile (is there such a word?) could call haggis 'food', and the bagpipe a musical instrument.
I grant you, haggis is not a food I would put into my mouth, however, the bagpipes, when played properly can make for beautiful music...speaking as a direct desendent of a Scottish family that made their way thru Ellis Island.
Rabid?????
Come now, is there nothing in your heritage that you will stand up for?
My Dad and Grandfather used to regale the children with music on the accordian. WE loved it and I have VERY fond memories of it!
Q. Why do Scotsmen walk around when they're playing the bagpipes?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.