Q. Why do Scotsmen walk around when they're playing the bagpipes?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.
Bagpipes-(noun)-I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig." -Alfred Hitchcock
Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.