[Jen]

1. Maxine on "Driver Safety" - "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

2. Maxine on "Life" - "Life is like an oven. It burns my buns."

3. Maxine on "Housework" - "I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

4. Maxine on "Lawn Care" - "The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

5. Maxine on "the Perfect Man" - "All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."

6. Maxine on "Work" - "My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a coworker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards."

7. Maxine on "the Technology Revolution" - "My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."

8. Maxine on "Aging" - "Take every birthday with a grain of salt This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita

[JustAmy]

12-30-04
Graphic by Billie

Secrets of a Glamour Queen

We’ll let you share our secrets. Please keep it to yourself.
The reason why we aren’t somewhere just sitting on a shelf.
We give a careful nurture, the image that we cast,
So that you cannot help to know, we are the highest classed.

If anyone should doubt us, why, the proof is clearly seen.
We’ve photographic evidence, of memories, yet green.
We can show up in person, if you must have the proof,.
But keep in mind, the last to ask, all seemed to just go “Poof!”

We don’t mind kissing frogs to find that fabled Prince or two,
But those who stay as frogs will find they end up in a stew.
If you’re into taking chances and don’t mind to travel far,
Then come by, dear, and set a spell, or just be “Hoppy” where you are.

NicknamedBob . . . . . . . . . . . June 21, 2004
© 2004