My Worst Gift
Posted on 12/25/2004 8:43:05 AM PST by RockyTop4GOP
What is the worst gift you have ever received? This morning I opened mine...a white porcelain mouthwash dispenser. It was bad enough having one in the family, but my parents were lucky enough to get their own.
Are you sure it wasn't a Label Baby Junior? ;)
Mom was sitting in the kitchen, I could see her through the dining room door. She asked me to come join her.
She had been crying and told me that there were no presents for me!!
She then explained that there was no Santa. She swore me to secrecy for what she told me was in the realm of grown-ups. She explained that Baby Jesus was God's gift to the world. St Nickolas had commemorated this birthday by giving gifts to children. Over the ages St Nickolas was slurred and modified into Santa Claus.
When we had gone to Peggys Toyland in Paterson NJ the usual ruse for the kids to look at the gifts on tables and then go to the back of the store where Santa would "take our orders". Meanwhile the parents were buying the gifts and the elves would rush the bags out to the cars and hide them in the trunk. A mixup had occurred and Dad had hidden the gifts in the attic but hadn't noticed that my gifts were missing. As usual, they would wrap the gifts and place them under the tree after midnight mass while we were asleep!
Yes I would have no Santa gifts that year.
However, the next year Dad worked an extra job and on Christmas Morning I received the Lionel Santa Fe Passenger train. It cost more than $50 which was more than a month's pay for my Dad! Still have it.
But as for the worst present I ever did get:
A soap and a sponge.
Back when I was around 9 or 10 years old (somewhere around that age), one of my mother's best friends (along with her husband and their three daughters) lived way out in the suburbs, and a few times a year we'd go out there to visit for the whole day (since they lived so far out). However one day, mother brought us kids there just to pick up Christmas presents that my Mother's friend had thoughtfully got for us. I had no idea that we were going to get presents from my Mother's friend untill we got there.
When I heard that they had a present for me, I was so incredibly excited. The fact that these wonderful people that I truly loved had a Christmas present for me thrilled me beyond words. I wondered what they got me. For a couple of minutes my mind raced with the images of the thousands upon thousands of fun toys I have seen advertised on television commercials the whole year round, especially this close to Christmas.
Instead, they handed me a package that contained a soap and a sponge. Something that I've NEVER seen advertised on tv. It was probably something they bought off a rack at their local drugstore or something like that (It certainly didnt come from a well known toy store like Toys R Us, thats for sure). The soap was shaped like a baseball, with baseball stitching carved onto it, and the sponge was yellow colored, and shaped like a catchers glove. In fact, it you could slip it on your hand just like a glove. I hated sports (then and now), including baseball. I found sports to be quite boring.
No, I dont think they were trying to send me a hint about my personal hygiene, since unlike other kids my own age, I bathed regularly. And I liked it.
BUT, at the time, I really cherished these people who gave me this gift (still do in fact), and as a result, I cherished the gift as well. In fact, I cherished it so much, that I wouldn't get around to using the gift for months. Instead, I would carefully open the hard plastic packaging it was in, just to take it out, and hold my gift, sort of play with it, and then just as carefully put it back inside it's plastic packaging in order to preserve it.
I finally did get around to using the gift in the bathtub, but that was only out of necessity. In preparation for taking a bath one day, I found that we had no more soap left over in the apartment, except for my soap and sponge gift. So I had to use that reluctantly. It was a few more baths before the baseball shaped soap finally was used up, and I still used the sponge glove but I wound up wearing that out and it had to be thrown out.
Again, at the time, I REALLY cherished that gift, and I REALLY cherished the people who gave it to me (still do), but today I look back on it, and I shake my head. Out of all things, out of all the toys in the world, to give to a little kid as a Christmas gift. A soap and a sponge.
What were they thinking?
You could use it for vodka instead...
Put some fruit, or vanilla in there and infuse your vodka - then you can do shots right from your mouthwash/vodka dispenser.
Tequila?
Hmmmm the applications are endless!
Er.... "It's Pat"?
Dan
(c;
Does that beat a soap and a sponge? (post 25)
You can still pass that Chia Pet kit on to some innocent seven year old. Just tell her Mother it's for educational purposes.
We need one of those. How much did it cost?
We need one of those. How much did it cost?
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