Trust me I in the wrong and my wife it not given up to quickly. I screw up almost every day with just about anything you can think about. My wife says I am like living with a 12 year old. I afraid she's almost right on. I lost my father at 13 and my mother was never the same. I was left to grow up by my self and I not doing a good job of it.
Joining the United States Military
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Stop making excuses for yourself.
My sypathies. There is nothing more frustrating for a man than to be in a dammned if you do and dammned if you don't relationship with a woman.
Sounds like she brow beats you and is overbearing.
My wife says I am like living with a 12 year old.
Honestly, you write like a 8 year old, so your wife may be too kind.
Hint... Your marriage does not depend on you taking the garbage out. It depends on how long she has to go on nagging and teaching you what grownups DO all day. Look around for stuff that needs done and do it.
I've been married 30 years. It has never been/gotten easy. Tell you're wife that marriage is "for better or worse . Divorce is the answer of selfishness. There's a child involved here, it's not about you or her anymore, it's about the kid.
Becky
None of us is perfect. Concentrate on those things that make you feel better about yourself, your wife and your son.
Listen to your heart. Some of us call it prayer. Know that what happened yesterday does not matter. What you do today will help your tomorrows.
If you stumble, get up and try again. Don't quit. If you really love your wife and child, learn to deepen your love and help them.
Look... this is a confidence problem. Nobody is perfect; stop telling yourself you haven't grown up. You already faced more at 13 than most people with the death of your father and almost automatic distress of your mother that resulted. This does not inhibit maturity, it brings it on faster than most people.
So you don't take out the garbage or lock all the doors at the right time? Meaningless, we are all imperfect. Sure, work on the little things, they are important. But you are missing the real problem.
Your wife, likely also in her early twenties, has not matured enough to understand the importance of your marriage (a sacred institution) particularly with a child. Be patient with that, but don't let some sophmoric desire for romance (which always wanes after about two of years of marriage, but is replaced by a long term bond necessary for raising a family) put your child through a divorce.
That will be terrible for your son and will ultimately be bad for both of you. Remember, if there is a maturity gap here, it is likely your wife who needs to catch up only because she's not dealt with the same level of challenges that you have. Don't give in to the temptation to point a finger back at your wife. It's too easy for someone to just displace blame by claiming their partner is dysfunctional. That's what your wife is doing.
Get your confidence up. Stop beating yourself up. Marriage trouble always hits at around two years, when the romance seems to fade. It's normal and it's not your fault. Work through this and don't let yourself fall into the trap of self loathing. Finally, remember, women are not attracted to a man with no self-confidence.
Not enough info here to give advice, and I will tell you what, people here are not qualified to give it at any rate unless we have some genuine therapists out there. Go to counseling. I would seek the advice of a pro first and forget about the people here.
Write down a list of the things you're supposed to do every day and check them off one by one when you're finished with them. Do not rest until these tasks are completed every day.
Pick up after yourself. Clean up the messes you make. Stay home at night unless you're going out with your wife. Take out the garbage. If the laundry needs to be done, do it. If the dishes need to be washed, wash them. If you see anything that is undone that your wife will have to do if you don't do it yourself, do it! Do not under any circumstances mention any of the changes and improvements you make on your own to your wife in order to seek her approval. She will not respect you for it. Just do the stuff you need to do.
This is part of what growing up is like. You do what needs to be done without prompting. (This is only the beginning, so get started right away...force yourself to get started. You are going to have to learn discipline the hard way. You will have to teach yourself. Get to work on some unpleasant task right now.)
You need some tough advice.
Quit being a selfish lazy SOB. You are knowingly forgetting simple tasks because you are remembering them now.
How hard is it to make a list to check off or get into a habit. Habits in marriage is guaranteed.
If you cant seem to remember to do a simple thing as trash then its not forgetfulness. I believe its plain laziness.
I have done some stupid things...even as recently as friday messing up my parents night out with my kids for a Christmas carriage ride but I know what a dumb thing it was and how I know how my actions has effected others.
My duty as a son, husband and father should always be worked on and always striving to be a better one of each...
Grow up and get off your computer because I have a feeling it has ALOT to do with your current situation.
My first question to you would be is this passive-aggressive behaviour on your part? Are you happy in the marriage, are you really in love with your wife, what brought the two of you together in the first place? After only 2 years you should be able to remember what made you fall in love with each other originally. Were you like this before you got married? if you were then your wife knew what she was getting into, if you weren't then you need to ask yourself what you are gaining personally by acting this way.
Bottomline is you haven't given us much to work with here. Also it would be interesting to talk to your wife and get her side. This is called marriage counseling. If you and your wife really love each other and want to make it work then go see a good counselor, and let him/her help you work it out. As someone who went through an emotionally devastating divorce from someone I truly loved and who truly loved me I wish luck.
Make lists and put them where you'll see them.