Posted on 12/17/2004 8:59:30 AM PST by TheBigB
Awright guys 'n gals 'n kats 'n kittens...time for another FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD! Feel free to post jokes, silly stories, cartoons, beeber stunings, or even to IGNORE THIS THREAD!
To start things off...a picture of an adorable kitten!
Jennifer Ellison. Quite possibly the world's most perfectly developed female.
I thought you'd never ask. Muah-hahahahaha!
Doesn't that model usually come with a ball gag and a cat o' nine tails?
LOL
wonder what she's charging to clean out those pipes?
LOL sure Diva :-)
So here's one for the ladies!
I could not disagree with that.
Huge Ackman, eh? ;-) I can tolerate that one, only because he played Wolverine AND Van Helsing.
More than likely, she'd come with a tutu and slippers. : ) Jennifer won the National Ballet & Modern Dance Championships in 1996 & 1997 (in Britain).
What'd you call us?!
Yeah, and he has a real purty mouth ;)
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. She laid her pet on the table.
The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's heart. "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead." the vet replied.
"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up!"
I heartily agree! Although, I adore William Petersen (despite the fact he's 20 years my senior!)
no pun intended!
"Hey mifter, you got any bird theedth?"
Owner: "Go home and come back when you know how to say bird seeds."
(next day)
"Hey mifter, you got any bird theedth?"
(next day)
Owner: "Go home and come back when you know how to say bird seeds."
(next day)
"Hey mifter, you wanna buy a dead bird?"
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