Posted on 11/19/2004 10:30:49 AM PST by Mo1
*gasping for air after sampling Shark's lifeguard*
Ok, ok, I was thinking about the rack again........
Agh. I think the car that almost plowed down Darks was an SUV, not a pickup with a rack. They seem to be trading in their Volvos, Saabs and VW bugs...
Very soon.
The Christmas Party
December 1st
To: All Employees
I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23 at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our manager shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchanging of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your families,
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
#######
December 2nd
To: All Employees;
In no way was yesterdays memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we be calling our party a "Holiday party" The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.
Happy Holidays to you and your families,
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
#######
December 3rd
To: All Employees:
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only", you will no longer be anonymous. In addition , forget about the gift exchanging — no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is to much money.
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
#######
December 7th
To All Employees:
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women to sit closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, and Lesbians do not have to sit with the Gay men; each will have their own tables. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay mens table.
Happy now!!????
Patty Lewis, Human Racehorses Director
#######
December 9th
To: All Employees:
People, people— nothing sinister was intended by wanting our manager to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan" there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."
Patty Lewis, Human Ratraces
#######
December 10th
To: All Employees:
Vegetarians — I've had it with you people!! We are going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you can have salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream! I'm hearing them right now. Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die,
The Bitch from Hell!!!
#######
December 14
To: All Employees
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
You need a wonder-holster.......
She acted so outraged that I was daring to be upset that she almost hit me.
Thankfully, she did decide to see the error of her way and parked correctly.
LOL! It sounds just like my office.
I admit to having a VW Jetta.
Handles nicely.
Out corners most of the kiddy punks in my area who think their Civics with the loud exhausts are hot.
;-)
No, I won't say what has been done to the car.
In my area, you'll find idiots with SUV's (Jeep grand cherokees are most often sighted with this one) flashing a "Gore Lieberman" sticker.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I see, I thought it was a full-fledged SUV. Owner must have been having identity crisis. Trans-car...
The peyote is a mighty funny thing.
One might see giant chickens.
(Shameless "Young Guns" reference.)
Yeah, VW Jettas are cool cars.
Who's on first?
I own one........Darks..........It was me!............. *evil laughter*
Great, should I go grovel now or later?
I don't even know what we are talking about so just ignore my last 20 posts. What's an SUV? What's a liberal trying to run over Darks? What does it matter that I thought Shark drove a giant Ford pickup? What planet am I on?
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