[heye2monn]

Dear Abby is one of the biggest gay propagandists in the media today. She hides behind the legend of the real Dear Abby. There is more wisdom in one week of Dr. James Dobson and Dr. Laura than in a year of Dear Abby.

[stopillegalimmigration]

So according to Kerry she would be born again lesbian?

[Drango]

As a felon, it's a good thing she can't vote against the gay marriage bans this Tuesday.

[Larry Lucido]

I thought you can't "become" anything - you are just born that way.

[Maceman]

Do you know where I could find a book with spells in it? Marty is bigger than Danni. They got into a fist fight recently, and Danni came to me covered with bruises. Please tell me what to do. I don't know . . .

Here's one I learned from a Jamaican housekeeper that worked for my father-in-law.

1) On a small piece of paper, write the person's name vertically and then horizonally such that the two intersect in the middle like a crossword puzzle.

2) Roll up the paper into a tight cylinder.

3) Take a pickle (cucumber), cut it in half lengthwise. scoop out enough of the middle so that you can fit the rolled up paper cylinder in it.

4) Put both halves of the picles back together, secured by a string or a rubber band.

5) Wrap the pickle in tin-foil, and place it way in the back of your refrigerator.

As long as the "voodoo pickle" stays in the refrigerator, the person will remain "on ice" and will not be a problem.

[mlmr]

This is why Dear Mrs. Web is in Baltimore papers...and should be everywhere else...

www.dearmrsweb.com

[badpacifist]

Don't go to prisons. It can be bad for you. DOH!

[Rytwyng]

But I am considering trying to find a spell book and casting a spell to make Danni break up with Marty. ...Do you know where I could find a book with spells in it?

Good luck using satanic tactics (witch spells) to stop a satanic behavior (lesbianism). "If Satan cast out Satan, how can his kingdom stand?"

[Warlord]

"My daughter, "Danni," is 36. She was heterosexual until she spent five years in prison. Ever since her release, she has been living in a lesbian relationship with a woman named "Marty.""

Very fishy.

[WAWL]

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas

I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiance' and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John Kerry for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

[i_dont_chat]

One cannot overcome self-will by self-will. Help must come from a higher power. But first, one must ask for help.

Until one asks, nothing will change.

[MRMEAN]