If the man (cough, cough) can't keep his eyes on a bloody football...
Isn't that a real girlie move, not looking at the ball when catching it? That's what I do everytime someone throws me a football.
Considering he never touched a football in his life until just a few months ago (which may explain why he believes the game is played on airport tarmacs), it's not surprising he's afraid of the ol' pigskin. Say, did you know he's hunted pigs on his belly, wearing newly-purchased camouflage and dress shoes, and toting a $20,000 shotgun? Okay, his gunbearer carried the shotgun, never mind.
Correct. You are to "look" the ball into your hands, not let it bounch off your body like a goose.