"OWW. Why did you kick me in the shin, you horsefaced peckerwood?"
Posted on 10/05/2004 11:16:07 AM PDT by kkalman
GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.
And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.
DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!
Sincerely,
Bob
Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.
Oh come on. An unknown source posted on the internet, this has got to be legit. The only thing that would make it more legit, is if it were an e-mail that had already been forwarded a dozen times.
LOL How funny!
Dang! Some guys have ALL the luck ! That is just ...AWESOME
Constitution Day has shown that it comes from a Larry Elder column. But nowhere in the article does Larry provide evidence that it is true.
Indeed...and I know too many people who might just use this story line in real life to protect their own signs.
Hey John O -- wanna borrow Belle?
On my signs (which I know ar likely to be lifted), I swab a concentrated scent that is used in "Big Stinky."
Big Stinky is a high volume fly trap used in and around agricultural buildings.
The substance reminds flies of their favorite munchies and once deposited on the hands of the perp, will not be washed off for a couple days.
If you see someone in your office (in Northern Virginia) with a bunch of flies buzzing around and his wife is making him sleep outside then you will know what he has been doing under the cover of darkness.
Lighten up, Francis.
ROTFLOL!
This is TOO rich!
Keeper of the lists...
do that thing you do SO well! ;o)
Hillarious
"OWW. Why did you kick me in the shin, you horsefaced peckerwood?"
Seniors Need To Have Fun Too
WORKING PEOPLE FREQUENTLY ASK RETIRED PEOPLE WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE THEIR DAYS INTERESTING.
I WENT TO THE STORE THE OTHER DAY. I WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
WHEN I CAME OUT THERE WAS A CITY COP WRITING OUT A PARKING TICKET.
I WENT UP TO HIM AND SAID, "COME ON, BUDDY, HOW ABOUT GIVING A SENIOR A BREAK?"
HE IGNORED ME AND CONTINUED WRITING THE TICKET.
I CALLED HIM A NAME. HE GLARED AT ME AND STARTED WRITING ANOTHER TICKET FOR HAVING WORN TIRES.
SO I CALLED HIM A WORSE NAME. HE FINISHED THE SECOND TICKET AND PUT IT ON THE WINDSHIELD WITH THE FIRST.
THEN HE STARTED WRITING A THIRD TICKET.
THIS WENT ON FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES. THE MORE I ABUSED HIM THE MORE TICKETS HE WROTE.
I DIDN'T CARE.
MY CAR WAS PARKED AROUND THE CORNER AND THIS CAR HAD AN "ELECT JOHN KERRY" BUMPER STICKER ON IT.
I TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN EACH DAY NOW THAT I'M RETIRED.
IT'S IMPORTANT AT OUR AGE.
Wouldn't that be cool if those invisible fences for dogs worked to keep a sign safe, but I'm not sure what they are all about.
I feel fortunate that we live in a neighborhood that hasn't had any of this kind of a deal, but I think there was some small to-do about either those "support our troops, bring them home" or "support our troops in Iraq". I forget which.
Surprisingly I can not find anything on Snopes.com
I saw the original thread in real time, and try to put this each place I see it.
Is larry Elders in the habit of propogating urban legends?
Ho, that is too funny, I'll have to remember that one.
Who says that "Uncle Bob's" are boring? :) From a fellow Bob;)
My neighbor in Camas (very close to Vancouver WA) is having the same problem with his Bush signs. I wonder if the Unions goons get overtime for this sort of work?
I just wish he provided some documentation to show it actually happened. Snopes is even blank on the matter. No results on various searches.
That's because Snopes can't say it's Bush's fault, yet...
www.truthorfiction.com lists it as fiction
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