Posted on 09/23/2004 2:19:18 AM PDT by PaulJ
Top Ten Ways CBS News Can Improve It's Reputation
10. Stick to stories everyone can agree on, like cookies are delicious.
9. Move nightly "happy hour" to after the broadcast.
8. Stop hiring guys with crazy names like "Morley."
7. Can't figure out if a news story is true? Let Judge Joe Brown decide.
6. Every time Mike Wallace tells a lie he gets a life-threatening electrical shock.
5. Newsroom patrolled by some kind of lovable but strict "truth monkey."
4. If it turns out the story is wrong, give away 276 brand new cars.
3. After delivering a report, correspondent must add, "or maybe not--who knows?"
2. Newscast consists of Dan Rather sitting down to watch Tom Brokaw.
1. Oh, I dunno, stop making up crap?
Same here - Rabid Truth Monkeys for Every Newsroom!
A Pajama Wearing Rabid Truth Monkey.
#1 is my favorite.
Top Ten Ways CBS News Can Improve It's Reputation
10. Fire Dan Rather.
9. Fire Dan Rather.
8. Fire Dan Rather.
7. Fire Dan Rather.
6. Fire Dan Rather.
5. Fire Dan Rather.
4. Fire Dan Rather.
3. Fire Dan Rather.
2. Fire Dan Rather.
1. Oh, I dunno, stop making up crap? AND FIRE DAN RATHER!
Ping
You know, the really funny part of this is that Letterman is ON CBS!!!
I think Dave knows this.
Also on the show. Biff Henderson segment on CSI_NY premiere concluded which "Biff heard that a lot of CBS news staff were attending, so he decided to make a little extra cash"
Cut to Biff at premiere spruiking "Bush memos available $10 each*
Pretty good show last night. Nobel prize winner reading Paris Hilton
Kelly Ripa interview was also good, but not quite up to Dave's Tuesday night interview with Dr Phil.
Dr Phil was magnificent. Compared to him, Monday night's guest looked like John Kerry.
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