Posted on 08/26/2004 8:23:04 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once up! on a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
OOOHHHH0oh-oh-oh-ohhh!!!!
LOL!!!!
quickly saving!
Seen most of them before, but they're funny.
Rotfl.
There's no "native Aaerican" joke. And no "African American" jokes. How can it offend everyone?
Well, since they are either male or female, something in there has to be offensive.
Bass Brewery in Ulster is closing down. Going out of business. Its a black day indeed. I just read about this yesterday.
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