"Superstar USA" - A "Swan" for Music? No, Just another summons to the Oval Office

My thoughts | May 17, 2004 | Bobby Chang

[Bobby Chang]

I've had to open the Oval Office doors more frequently for a bad performance on television than for somebody whose temper flared enough to cause for such summons, since the doors to the Oval Office, and the term itself, debuted February 22 at Rockingham, NC. (And Francis Ferko should . . . I can't say it. He homewrecked two cities and a whole state to please himself.)

But now the Oval Office doors are opening wide again for a looney show on the WB called "Superstar USA".

"Auditions for The WB's Superstar USA were held in Las Vegas, Minneapolis, Orlando and Philadelphia. The best singers are told that they aren't right for the show, while those who have more guts than pipes are encouraged by the show's respected music experts - rap music pioneer Tone-Loc, pop star Vitamin C and television producer Chris Briggs."

(In a Larry McReynolds voice) I can assure you none of the Orlando candidates were trained by a Rollins College Soprano who can take home a nice prize in a singing contest.

(Back to normal) Tone-Loc and Vitamin C are not singers, in my view. Their talent is lacking..

"Ultimately, 12 uniquely gifted performers are then whisked away to Hollywood, where they receive superstar treatment, complete with a makeover, dance sessions with a top choreographer and singing lessons with a respected voice coach."

In relation to choreographers, I cannot picture certain talented singers as dancers of the calibre they are thinking, especially considering some singers I know very well, including well-known left-wing American composer (and an esteemed friend) Meira Warshauer. NT Deborah Voight wouldn't be able to make it past the choreographers. Real singers needeth forgo microphones or amplified instruments -- their pipes and proper diaphragm use will do the trick. (But she'd be quick and tackle the Superstar USA contenders down for a loss or a sack.)

If the vocal coach is well-regarded, intelligent, and can make a few ugly ducklings a swan, then I can see some sense. But it takes a LONG time (a few years) to turn them into swans, and when they learn the fundamentals, they can start towards being the next Renée Fleming, Josh Groban, Placido Domingo, or even your church choir or neighbourhood choral singer. All of them are extremely talented but cannot be a Pop Idol, a pop star, or even this contest because their style is a complete flip-flop of what pop wants.

Now that we've seen how the producers deceived a live audience for S-USA with the horrible performances, and used lies to make their point, what gives? This is even worse of an outrage to demean a charity.

Overall, Superstar USA is a mockery of talent shows, and insults people for the take of promoting themselves. How much sillier can television take it?

[Bobby Chang]

The Oval Office will be one busy place Mondays.

[ken5050]

Psst! obver here, maybe you can interpet for me...this is your scene..sounds to me like it's Bablefish translation from Aramaic..

[Skywalk]

LOL

Uh, looks like people who are not really talented singers(I did like Loc for a bit as a rapper, but he's not in the same galaxy as the truly great lyricists) and are not even qualified to judge talent because they are not talent evaluators. It is likely the judges reflect the mediocre talent pool.

The FR connection is that for some reason these people are being allowed to come to the White House.

[ken5050]

If you happen to come across why they are being invited to the WH, I'll kindly take a ping....

[TheRIGHTChoice]

What the hell kind of name is Tone-Loc or Vitamin C?

I mean, Iced-T or Corn-P Diddy is one thing, but...

What a world..what a world...

Corey

[Bobby Chang]

The "Oval Office" is where people are sent when they are in trouble. This term is derived from Nextel Cup automobile racing and the logo in the Office.