The Guild 5-5-2004 The Bold and The Irreverent

USA Today ^ | 5-5-2004 | Peter Johnson

[BigWaveBetty]

Former Vice President Al Gore plans to launch a cable news network for young adults that he says will be "irreverent and bold" but not liberal.

Gore said Tuesday that the as-yet-unnamed network will be "an independent voice in this industry" for people ages 18-34 "who want to learn about the world in a voice they recognize and a view they recognize as their own."

[BigWaveBetty]

Good gravy! It's the devil himself!

And... it looks like the devil got popped in the nose. Check Teresa's knuckles.

[BigWaveBetty]

When you've got a spare moment photoshop a Kerry FBI Wanted poster in place of the 5,000 Reward paper stuck on the window. :-)

John Kerry (news - web sites) walks out of the Jenkins Quality Bar-B-Q restaurant with some ribs after making a brief visit to the small business famous for its barbeque ribs and chicken May 11, 2004 in Jacksonville, Florida.(AFP/Getty Images/Paula Bronstein)

[BigWaveBetty]

LOL!

A plane pulling a Bush sign flys over a rally for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (news - web sites), D-Mass., Tuesday, May 11, 2004, in downtown Jacksonville, Fla. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

[pubmom]

Will we be treated to endless photos of JFK nibbling effeminately on ribs and chicken?

[BigWaveBetty]

Not if the Effin' campaign can help it!

From the look on Kerry's face, one might think the young man had found the cure for cancer, or at the very least a cure for droning on and on and on....

Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry (news - web sites) (L) reacts to a rap song written by 14-year-old Phillip Wickam after a round table discussion in Orlando, Florida on May 12, 2004. Kerry is in Orlando to discuss his health care plan for America's families. REUTERS/Charles W. Luzier

[They'reGone2000]

Old Crusty got a night off!

Mrs. Clinton, as I’ve probably written here before, is a remarkable speaker – so at ease and full of detailed information, all or most of which seems to be at her fingertips rather than on a teleprompter. She was looking very trim in Mr. Scaasi’s gossamer-like creation. When she finished, she exited immediately and Tom Brokaw slipped into her chair.

- New York Social Diary

[pubmom]

Does Kerry's health plan include every American male finding a multi-million dollar heiress to marry? It is that easy, you know.

Seriously, I've been engaging in dialogue concerning national healthcare with my clients. Because I'm in a health related field, many I've spoken with believe national healthcare would be a great idea. That is until I point out the state of nationalized healthcare in other countries such as Sweden and Canada, the waiting lists and generally rotten service. I do encourage them to research the topic for themselves. Most do, and change their minds mighty quick when faced with rationed care.

No thank you Mr. Kerry, we don't need your stinkin' health plan.

[lodwick]

Farmer Ingenuity


Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as
time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an
alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast
that his chickens were being run over at a rate of
three to six a day.


So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and
said, "You've got to do something about all of these
people driving so fast and killing all of my
chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the
sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about
those crazy drivers!" So the next day he had the
county workers go out and erected a sign that said:





SLOW:

SCHOOL CROSSING




Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and
said, "You've got to do something about these drivers.
The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go
even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the
county workers and they put up a new sign:




SLOW:

CHILDREN AT PLAY





That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and
called and called every day for three weeks. Finally,
he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good.
Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him,
"Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to
let the Farmer John do just about anything in order to
get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The
sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John.

Three weeks later, curiosity go the best of the
sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call.
"How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up
your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has
been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very
busy." He hung up the phone.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to
himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at
that sign... it might be something that WE could use
to slow down drivers....." So the sheriff drove out
to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment
he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of
wood:




NUDIST COLONY

Go slow and watch out for the chicks!


2,249 posted on 05/12/2004 10:39:09 AM CDT by ValerieUSA

[daisyscarlett]

Oh Lord, it scares me to death when I see Hillary all gussied up like that. What is she up to now? lol....Thanks for the link, enjoyed it.

[Iowa Granny]

Over the lunch hour today #3 Son had a call from a friend alerting him to Mountain Lion tracks found on a farm about a mile from us.

Tonite the OG got on the 4-wheeler and took off down the South gravel rd. He was back shortly with the news that there are tracks down at our 'South Place', just a half mile from our home.

Missouri reintroduced MLs a couple of years ago and there have been reported sightings ever since.

I am going to ask for a refresher course on the 30 aught 6, I suppose I'll permanently destroy my shoulder if I ever have to use it. But given the choice of starring down a cat or having a sore shoulder the rest of my life,, it won't be a hard decision to make.

[lodwick]

Yep - Derry Brownfield has been talking about all the cats that are now in MO and other midwestern states...Fish & Game is heavily involved with the "re-wilding" of America.

Don't be surpised if cougars or timber wolves carry off some of your fat calves or hogs or grandkids in the near future.

A Ruger mini 14, which delivers the .223 cartridge as quickly as you can pull the trigger, might be a nice addition to OG's arsenal and a real shoulder-saver for you.

Stay safe up there.

[Iowa Granny]

Well,,,, I have no calves. No hogs outside. That leaves my Grandchildren.

This is Not a GOOD THING.

[lodwick]

Lions, and tigers, and bears: Oh my! Well, maybe not tigers. But lions and bears? Probably. According to DNR wildlife biologists, the reports of black bears, bobcats, wolves and even mountain lions, have increased dramatically during the past several years. Although reminiscent of the 1800s pioneer era, the sightings of such fearsome predators in Iowa is not an aberration, but merely reflects what is already occurring in bordering states.

"During the past two years, we've received nearly a dozen separate reports of free ranging mountain lions within Iowa borders," says DNR Furbearer Specialist, Ron Andrews.

The rest of the story.

Stay safe.

[lodwick]

[lodwick]

Subject: 2035 PREDICTIONS

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon)
..
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take
at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases
to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by
Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now
be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers
must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex
with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting Machine.

"Got Rights?"

[Endeavor]

I have a friend who lives on a massive ranch in west texas. Every morning before she turns the kids out to play in the "back yard" she has to go out and shoot the rattlers off the porch. The irony is she's this little thing who grew up in a junior league family in Fort Worth and she's never been happier than on the range. It really ticks off her mother, though. All that proper "lady" training and all. hehehe Of course she married an Aggie, which accounts for her proper "humanization" now!

[Iowa Granny]

My Mother could comiserate with your friend's parents. Recently she finally admitted she no longer worries about the money she spent to send me to Stephens. Says at least I KNOW how things should be done, eventhough I live in a Red Neck world and seldom do the 'refined' things.

[Endeavor]

This is interesting: http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/

I'm not sure why Peggy expects our government to provide biohazard suits to everyone, or lead suits to everyone (dirty bomb scenario) - heck, you couldn't move in a lead suit.

I do think they should be running drills publicly on what to do in a dirty bomb scenario, etc. But let's face it, there's no way to check all the containers that come into our port cities. There's no freakin' way. I guess I'm amazed that people who live in extremely high threat areas think there is some sort of automatic government "fix" to protect them. HELLO - if there was a fix, it wouldn't be a real threat.

I love Peggy Noonan. I find she has her finger on the pulse of real Americans. But there are times when she gets on this WMD kick of expecting the govt to protect her at every turn, and I just want to slap some sense into her and tell her to move to the midwest, where mountain lions will get you before Achmed does.

[Endeavor]

You're a Stephens girl? One of my favorite professors is a Stephens girl. Well yes, you at least learned your manners. My parents, fortunately, never made me go the "lady" route - my mother had been forced to do it and hated it so she took mercy on me. Hence, I lived in my cowboy boots as a kid and still do when I don't have my topsiders on. I was just grateful they didn't make me followed in their footsteps and go to Rice - gawd, I'd have hated going to Rice - a bunch of constipated intellectuals there (and a rather dreary lot). A lot of my friends went to UVA and Vandy - two other places I was happy to avoid.

sign me -- "Proud to be an Aggie"

[Iowa Granny]

Stephens served me very well. I quickly learned what kind of a person I DIDN'T want to be.

Most people here in Iowa think I am an Iowa Stater. And even my Mother will now admit that's where I really should have gone.