'We Built This City' ranks as the worst record ever

USA TODAY ^ | Mon, Apr 19, 2004 | Edna Gundersen,

[presidio9]

We Built This City is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender's ranking of reeking tunes.

• Kevin Spacey sorry for mugging confusion • Vince Neil sued by former prostitute • Hurdle cleared for James Brown annulment • Frat brothers avoid jail in MTV-taped killing of koi • Worst song... Ever

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The magazine's list of "The 50 Worst Songs Ever," which hits newsstands Tuesday in New York and Los Angeles and April 27 nationwide, distills the lamest popular rock-era records into one sonic landfill.

Starship's 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, "seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage," editor Craig Marks says. "It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of '80s corporate-rock commercialism. It's a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the '80s."

Excerpt

[Xenalyte]

Oh, my God, I absolutely LOATHE "Seasons in the Sun." I used to make gagging noises when it came on the car radio, so of course my parents would turn it up even louder.

[Colonel_Flagg]

I still want to know what Shiny Happy People is about.

It's "about" four minutes too long. :)

[Xenalyte]

It seems that the doper lead vocalist for Iron Butterfly could not orrate "In the Garden of Eden", when he sang it. The best his drug/booze impared brain could squeeze out was a phonetic facscimile, which gave us the version now known.........All 22 minutes of it my kids tune in to laugh at every saturday night at 9:00pm.

Reverend Lovejoy: And now, please stand to sing "In the Garden of Eden," by I. Ron Butterfly.
Homer: Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?

[TheBigB]

I would think your fave would be "The Warrior" by Scandal. ;)

[Hemingway's Ghost]

I found out on a Thursday morning that Debbie Gibson would be in concert in Atlanta the following Saturday. I begged my Sister (who rocks) to drive me there. She did. She also took me to see Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, KISS, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Richard Marx.

In one single post, you just captured 90% of what was wrong with music in the 1980s.

[Xenalyte]

Oh, I've got a brand-new pair of rollerskates
You've got a brand-new key
I think we should get together and
Try them on to see . . .

[.38sw]

So many bad songs, so little time. Don't forget "Muskrat Love" by the lovely and charmng Captain and Tennille. Ugh.

Musrat love?!! I STILL don't know what that was all about.

[Iowegian]

There is no accounting for taste. I always wondered who bought all the crap that comes out that is labelled "music". Now I know.

[TheBigB]

You mean, grumpy old farts who scream "that music sucks" while turning up their Herman's Hermits albums?

Whom do you like?

[Colonel_Flagg]

How about this one:

"Lovin' You", by Minnie Riperton. That high note could sterilize frogs at 200 yards.

[Xenalyte]

Now... there are songs I hate and always did, that were popular.... One that comes to mind is "I'm only Human"... The duet where they both admit to cheating on each other and they talk in the middle of it? I just want to choke both of them. Wanted to then, Still would choke them now.

For sheer unadulterated adultery goodness, give me Rupert Holmes' "Pina Colada" any day.

[Xenalyte]

You do know what "Afternoon Delight" is about, right? I ask because I found out about two years ago and I was shocked. I really did think it was about fireworks. (In a way, it is.)

[TheBigB]

I often wondered about people who scream about what other people like or don't like without telling what -they- like and why. Makes 'em feel superior to others without putting their own likes out there for scrutiny.

[ride the whirlwind]

"We Built This City, We Built This City on Rock and Roll"

(I kinda sorta like the song too...)

Dislike "Yakety Yak - the Coasters"

[TheBigB]

Oh, sure. It's not hard to figure out. :)

Woke up this mornin' with an ap-e-tite, lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight...

[presidio9]

No, really, Tiffany does SUCK. Not that this makes you a bad person. There's just no nice way to say it.

[TheBigB]

If you like Pina Coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into health food
If you have half a brain...

[Hemingway's Ghost]

You mean, grumpy old farts who scream "that music sucks" while turning up their Herman's Hermits albums?

I grew up in the '80s, too, and all those bands you mentioned chewed. Richard Marx? Def Leppard? Oh my. Why not just throw in Kajagoogoo, Human League, Dexy's Midnight Runners, and Men Without Hats in there for good measure?

[drjimmy]

'D.O.A.' probably was the worst 'song' ever, but it hardly rates as a song ... that was just in poor, poor taste
Was it less "tasteful" than "Timothy"?

[Xenalyte]

You know you're dying for one.