'We Built This City' ranks as the worst record ever

USA TODAY ^ | Mon, Apr 19, 2004 | Edna Gundersen,

[presidio9]

We Built This City is the single worst single ever constructed, according to Blender's ranking of reeking tunes.

• Kevin Spacey sorry for mugging confusion • Vince Neil sued by former prostitute • Hurdle cleared for James Brown annulment • Frat brothers avoid jail in MTV-taped killing of koi • Worst song... Ever

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The magazine's list of "The 50 Worst Songs Ever," which hits newsstands Tuesday in New York and Los Angeles and April 27 nationwide, distills the lamest popular rock-era records into one sonic landfill.

Starship's 1985 anthem, the runaway No. 1 stinker, "seems to inspire the most virulent feelings of outrage," editor Craig Marks says. "It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of '80s corporate-rock commercialism. It's a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the '80s."

Excerpt

[Bobby777]

I believe that Elvis took a pistol and shot out a TV while Robert Goulet was singing, and it might have been 'MacArthur Park' ... maybe this has something to do with it?

Elvis thought Goulet was an uninspired singer who put no emotion into the song, IIRC ...

[archy]

I nomiate:
'Disco Duck' as worst song ever

Ever heard Heart's Strange Euphoria?

The B-side of Napolean XIV's They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha?

[archy]

Oh man, I like "We Built This City" and "Shiny Happy People"

Ever heard Jefferson Airplane's cover of High Flyin' Bird?

Particularly the early version, with Sigi Anderson as lead vocalist, before Grace Slick appeared on the scene.

[archy]

Not too sure if it ever made #1 (or even the top 100 for that matter) but the song with the LONGEST TITLE on record is:

"Several species of small, furry animals, gathered together in a cave, and grooving with a Pict" Mike Oldsfield, "Tubular Bells" Album

It doesn't have to have hit Number One, but should have at least charted, as per Jan and Dean'c October 1964 effort:

The Anaheim, Azusa & Cucamonga Sewing Circle, Book Review & Timing Association... Then there's B-sides of charted tunes...when Prince's When Doves Cry went to No. 1, he became the artist with the longest title for the flip side of a chart-topping song. The B-side of "Doves" was 17 Days (The Rain Will Come Down, Then U Will Have to Choose. If U Believe, Look 2 the Dawn and U Shall Never Lose). That replaced the previous record-holder, the flip side of Nino Tempo and April Stevens' Deep Purple, titled I've Been Carrying a Torch for You So Long That I Burned a Great Big Hole in My Heart.

[archy]

The Face's / Rod Stewart's 1974 no. 12 hit You Can Make Me Dance Sing Or Anything (Even Take The Dog For A Walk, Mend A Fuse, Fold Away The Ironing Board, Or Any Other Domestic Shortcomings) has 115 letters, not counting punctuation marks.. The longest charting un-bracketed title is The Charlatans I Never Want An Easy Life If Me And He Were Ever To Get There" It made no. 38 in Mar 1994 47 letters.

The Freshies' 1981 release I'm In Love With The Girl On A Certain Manchester Megastore Checkout Desk (60 letters) peaked at number 54.

[stands2reason]

I am vindicated! I absolutely despise that song. It is the worst of the worst to issue forth from that black hole of music history known as "the 80's".

[stands2reason]

My father worked as a manager for JC Penney ("Penney's" back then) at a shopping mall in the 50's in Memphis. He said a greasy-haired kid that he remembered hearing on the Louisiana Hayride sang up there once. He said he wasn't really impressed but the girls seemed to like him...

[archy]

What was the SHORTEST song (in terms of time of play) to go to #1?

Depends on definitions. But I'd nominate Some Kinda Earthquake by Duane Eddy, from 1959, all 1 minute and 17 seconds worth.

[speedy]

Sorry I came late to the party, archy. Without reading the entire thread, I'm guessing some perennial worst song nominees are in there, or if not they should be -- "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" by England Dan and John Ford Coley always ranks high on my "get me out of here" scale. "Do That To Me One More Time" by Captain and Tennille -- always embarrassing. No list is complete without "Sometimes When We Touch" by Dan Hill. "You And Me Against The World" by Helen Reddy. Anything else by Helen Reddy. I think the scales are pretty well balanced between great music and awful music. But people enjoy writing more about awful music.

[the OlLine Rebel]

OK, the title of the Astaire song in Royal Wedding is

"How Can You Believe me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life"

That's 21 words, 69 no-space and 89 w/space.

[the OlLine Rebel]

OK, I have to go on record as hating that original (I guess) "MacArthur Park" song.

Donna Summer's has been pilloried but she and the disco arrangement make it tolerable.

I'm sorry, but that guy nasally breaking his heart over never having that recipe again after taking so long to bake makes me want to scratch my eyes out!

[AmishDude]

Besides the psychodelic lyrics, you must listen to the version by Richard Harris. It is worse than William Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

[AmishDude]

Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Dan from Michigan]

I have to say anything from New Kids on the Block, N'Stink, or BS Boys should be on the list.

Any anyone remember Ice Ice Baby? You Can't Touch this?

[TheBigB]

SKE by Duane was the shortest record to make Top 40, but did not make it to #1.

[Dan from Michigan]

My my my my Sharona....
The lead singer was actually Geoff Fieger's brother....

[Iowegian]

No, your taste (or lack thereof) in music sucks. Big time.

[TheBigB]

Good thing your opinion doesn't matter. Otherwise I'd be soooooo hurt.

[Corporate Law]

Over the weekend, they changed the billboards by the local interstates for one of the nearby casinos, promoting the coming entertainment, and Starship was one of the upcoming acts. I was thinking "they're still around?" and now this list comes out.

[Xenalyte]

Yet somehow, no one has mentioned "Dreams of the Everyday Housewife."