Posted on 04/16/2004 6:37:21 PM PDT by Mo1
Welfare
A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job.
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays.
The salary package is $200,000 a year.".The young man said, "You're B.S.'ing me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
Oh Loddy, really. Have you never asked a young child to "pull your pinkie finger?" Come to think of it...it might be just a raunchy southern thang.
"He's flying!"
"Oh Vick, you're such a kidder, but did you have to push him?"
LOL!
I have no control over weather.
No matter how many threads saying it's my fault appear.
Think I'll still go off to bed a little early tonite..Wore out from deodorizing my puter, not my pooter you know....lol
Westy, you are a funny man. I am laughing so hard.
moss is starting to grow on my northern side......
So that what it is? LOL
Nice work!
77-year-old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?"
Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, *poof*...the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Cohen, " That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Cohen called Morris's wife.
"Becky," he said, " Morris is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * The light goes on in the bathroom and then *poof * the light goes off?'"
Becky replied, "The darn fool!.... He's peeing in the fridge again!"
JimRob will be in Austin on June 9th on his tour trip. Is your chapter going to meet with him?
Yes, I got notice of a meeting, and I plan to go with my usual date - my camera. :)
Such a silly man. Poor guy, he's always imitating someone..even Dean..;)
LOL.. smooooooooooooooooooootch.. Morning Nully..
urk
Jeeeze.. maybe you should have stayed in bed, you are sounding a little reptilian..
Anyway isn't it wayyyy too early for you yet?
Morning guys.
Gotta go study for a teef exam today.
Youse guys are up with the chickens this morning...although Nully sounds like he got up on the wrong side of the nest.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.