Posted on 03/11/2004 4:29:23 PM PST by Preacher777
A scene at City Hall in San Francisco (or, This couldn't really happen...could it?)
"Next. Good morning."
" Hello, We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest? No, we are not homosexual."
"Not homosexual? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to homosexual couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not homosexual, then you can just get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A homosexual man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not homosexual?"
"Next. Good morning."
" Hello, We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest? No, we are not homosexual."
"Not homosexual? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to homosexual couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not homosexual, then you can just get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A homosexual man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not homosexual?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to homosexual couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Deets."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
And this is just what you have made the United States into....a total abomination. A travesty...a Democracy, where everyone has a say in everything and every cause is The Cause. Everything is OK. Nothing is wrong.
Well...get ready. More fun stuff is right around the corner. Just think...if you can do whatever you want to, then so can I. Your next-door neighbor can do what he wants to...the person a few doors down can do what they want to. So, don't wish for too much...because I get to wish too! Anything you can dream up...I can dream up too!
Beware America...my turn is coming too.
The views expressed by the sender may in no way reflect his/her actual views...then again, they might. Do you really want to allow anything? Because now you are limited only by imagination...and you might not like what my imagination can come up with. Scary? You bet
"Names?"
"Robert Philbin, and Bruiser, my Black Lab..."
etc., etc., etc...
Excellent example of reductio ad absurdum(I think). Brilliant!!
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