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Smoking threads since Jan 23, 2004

Take your butts outside: No smoking in new Karras Bros. Tavern in Detroit
We need more laws that invade our homes
If ya gottem, you can still smoke 'em! Pierce county, WA. State smoking ban update...
Couple demands halt to neighbor's smoking
Bars form charity; patrons light up
Maine: Maine Smoking Ban Drives Smokers Over Border
Cigarette Maker Loses Supreme Court Appeal
Urgent action is needed to tackle smoking in armed forces
SMOKING BAN AMENDMENTS HOT TOPIC AS ALBANY LEGISLATIVE SESSION OPENS
Maine: Attorney tries to block AMHI smoking ban (Don't go nuts in Maine if you smoke!)
U.S. raid targets smuggled smokes
New Patch Nixes the Liquid Lunch (Big Brother Alert!)
Maine:County bars bemoan ban on smoking
Lawmaker Wants SUV Restrictions
Former U.S. Surgeons General Have Plan to Cut Smoking ($2 per pack)
Burlington, VT moves ahead on smoking ban
Citing Livelihood, Musicians Announce Opposition to City?s Ban on Smoking
Tax smokers -- and 5 million will quit, health chiefs say (Barf Alert)
Ga. Legislature Mulls Law on Smoking in Cars
Caribbean cruise ship gives in to nicotine cravings

The Lounge is open!

Free Republic Smokers' Lounge theme song

Groaners (I've been waiting almost two weeks to post these here!):

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was asalted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony
wasn't much but the reception was great.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I
was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said
Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.

10. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The
shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

11. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a
look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What?, Because
he's cross-eyed?" "No, because
he's really heavy".

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
any.

15. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't
reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

16. A man came to the hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor
doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've
cut off your arms".

17. I went to a seafood disco rave last week.... and pulled a mussel.

18. A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks
the doc. "It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the man."
Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. "Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."

Ahhh, a SmokeGnatzi Free Zone.

Anybody got a match?

##cough cough## Now where's a trial lawyer when you need one.;-)

Hi, Joe. Just a beer will do. Thanks.

I'll be over here in the corner writing my new song.

Now lessee, where was I? Oh yeh.

'Twenty three dogs, two cats and a chicken
Went out on the town one day . . .