[Helms]

I had to attend a wedding with John Bobbit and Ron Jeremy

Whoa! That's quite a weird thing that happened to you and when was this? He actually carries a diary cataloging everyone he meets and gets phone numbers. He is a now rather pretty pathetic older man trying to get attention, still. Betcha he knows Jack Nicholson and Dennis Hopper and Charlie Sheen pretty well.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I worked for a radio station and a couple won a contest for a free wedding. The prize was to have Ron Jeremy as the best man and John Bobbitt was the minister. I couldn't believe that I was there, but it was part of my job. Jeremy smells really bad. He piles on the cologne and he is just a big overbearing slob.