Posted on 01/19/2004 1:56:06 AM PST by PetroniDE
Here we go. The race for the presidency really begins as the first state caucus/primary where the results actually count takes place today in Iowa. Only a few delegates are at stake, but Iowa and New Hampshire usually are critical regarding determination of the nominees because of the “bandwagon” effect. The democrat field is really a sorry bunch of choices, so one of our furry friends has decided to enter the race for the deomcrat (demoCAT) nomination.
Here is our candidate making an important policy speech.
Medicare reform made simple.
1) Legalization of catnip.
2) Banishment of all veternarian medicine.
Kitty is definitely in favor of the Second Amendment.
Our candidate responding to a stupid question from the liberal media.
Meet the Campaign Manager.
VOTE FOR ME, FIFI !
By Marv Knox
May 7, 2001
AUSTIN--Maybe it was a leap of faith, or perhaps just a graceful leap.
But worshippers at Woodlawn Baptist Church know beyond the Shadow of a doubt that one of the latest of God's creatures to tread its baptismal waters fled at least a couple of other denominations to become a Baptist. Sort of.
The baptismal procession started unexpectedly, during the early Sunday worship service at the Austin congregation, Pastor Barry Chinn reported.
"Halfway through the message, I saw a low shadow dart across the center aisle," he said. "'Oh, no,' I thought. 'Something is wrong with my eyes.'
"A second later, I saw it again. This happened a couple more times. Whatever it was, it was making its way toward the platform."
Soon Chinn--as well as many other worshippers that morning--realized the "shadow" was a big, black cat. "Preachers hate to stop in the middle of a sermon. Of course, some of us don't stop at the end of the sermon either," Chinn acknowledged. "But something had to be done, and I asked if someone would help the 'visitor' to a door."
Two "big guys" got up to grab the cat, but they missed, Chinn recalled. "'Great,' I'm thinking. 'No wonder we don't have a softball team. If we can't catch a cat in church on Sunday, we sure can't catch a grounder on Monday night.'"
Eluding his "purr-suers," the cat ran up the steps of the podium and darted into the choir loft. He also apparently decided to help Chinn with his sermon, letting loose with a loud "meeeow" of his own.
"'I guess I'll have to do this myself,'" Chinn recalled thinking. He turned from the pulpit and reached over the railing to grab the cat.
"Shadow must have heard enough of the sermon to know what to do next," Chinn said. "He took off again like a bolt of lightning, and making his way through the surprised choir, leaped over a tenor and into the baptistry filled with water."
Shadow the cat swam out of the baptismal waters and purred in one of the changing rooms until ushers found him and delivered him to the great outdoors and, theoretically at least, his home.
The feline epiphany in a Baptist sanctuary on Sunday raised several theological questions at Woodlawn, Chinn noted. One parishioner asked the pastor if this episode had turned a Baptist church into a cathouse. Chinn demurred.
Another wanted to know if Chinn had ever baptized a black cat before. "No, that was the first black cat," the pastor responded. "I've baptized a few skunks, but that's another story."
Most questions turned on the nature of Shadow's denominational history.
One church member theorized the cat came from a long line of Cat-tholics.
Another speculated Shadow was Pentecostal, pointing out the feline's only word, "meeeow," was uttered in an unknown tongue. Chinn expressed gratitude that no member rose to offer an interpretation to the enthusiastic if not ecstatic utterance.
Ultimately, observers agreed the cat left the church a Baptist, since he was indeed immersed and left the baptistry a--somewhat, at least--changed tom.
Chinn pointed out the self-baptism was not unprecedented.
Baptist pioneer John Smyth did not have a pastor to immerse him when he founded the first Baptist church nearly four centuries ago. So, he baptized himself.
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