Kitty Caption XXXI – Cats Plan World Domination – (Humor/Meow Alerts)

1 December 2003 | PetroniDE

[PetroniDE]

OK, back to work today for most of us. I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving holiday, ate lots of turkey (giving a little to the cats on the side), and finished all your holiday shopping.

I hear a new Bond movie is coming out with the familiar "world domination" theme. One significant difference: the evil-doers are not Russian, Chinese, or some scientist gone-mad. It is our beloved friend, the cat.

Some of you have seen this e-mail but since it hasn’t been posted in over a year, think it is time for a refresher.

TOP SIXTEEN SIGNS YOUR CAT MAY BE PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATION
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day
14. Notably absent from home during surprise feline invasion of Poland
13. When you enter room, Snowball and other members of the Tri-Cateral Commission stop talking and begin playing with yarn
12. Behind the couch you find a forged passport, plane tickets and nine suicide bombs
11. What you thought was "heat"; is actually a four-legged goose step
10. Well "somebody" subscribed to alt.cats.world.domination
9. Autopsy of the last mouse left on your doormat reveals "tattoo" to be blueprint of the UN building
8. Constantly petting that bald man he keeps on his lap
7. Kitty Chow spilled on the floow spells out "Drop the car keys and leave the door open or the dog gets it in the head"
6. Then -- dead mice in the kitchen. Now -- dead third world dictators in the basement
5. Judging from the kitchen, he seems to be working on some kind of "land mine" technology
4. Fluffy is now sleeping only 21 hours a day, down from 23
3. Has recently been acting somewhat...aloof
2. What your cat lacks in charisma and good looks, he makes up for with his ruthless handling of rival software companies
1. Somehow, you're now subscribed to "Felines of Fortune" magazine

We slipped into this secret meeting

I thought we slipped in/out without being spotted, but suddenly not so certain

This is their ring-leader, looks like the evil cousin to the white Viking Kitty

We sent special agent to thwart plot; until his/her successful return

I will not be posting again until tomorrow. Have a little trip of my own planned today. I hope THIS doesn’t happen to me

[Lady Jag]

Merle was a great dad right from the get go. I had the mother, a Tonkinese, and they only had one daughter. Between mom wanting a little girl and dad wanting a boy, their daughter grew up a tomboy and the spitting image of a Burmese.

[abner]

Has he learned to use the potty yet?

No, he uses the standard litter box. VOC had a Manx once. Dumb as dirt he was. He disappeared when the barn burned down. Very nice cat, just rock dumb.

[dixie sass]

I had a Himilayan that could say "out", "in", "mama" and "food". We couldn't believe it when we first heard her talking. Toy was a sweet cat, hard headed, but sweet.

[abner]

He has already decided that he controls VC, hasn't he?

They ALL control us... Fidget, Einstein, and OC at the office, Micro, DC and now Trouble here at home.

[Lady Jag]

The cat we had that could open doors, eventually learned to say my name (if it were sciencediet, I've be a millionaire) and the first few times I heard it, it freaked me out.

Cats are amazing. I have them that retrieve but one I have one now catches with dead on accuracy.

[dixie sass]

Lol, I know what you mean about freaking out. If we didn't pay attention to Toy, she would walk up to you and wack you on the leg (fortunately she had been declawed)until she got your attention!

Tinkerbell, though, would walk up to where you were and get up until she was in your face.

Sam and Murphy would just get all haughty - but being burmese (related to siamese) it was normal. Murphy would chatter all the time, Sam was the strong silent type but fix a glare on you that would let you know he was displeased.

Sam was the biggest, Murphy was elegant, Toy was hardheaded and Tinkerbell was the sweetest.

[abner]

Wierd that he could say your name, but definitely cool. My cat Fidget will fetch and is an amazing catcher, but she only fetches to about 2 or 3 feet from you. . . DC fetches and drops it right in my hand. I have to make sure though that when I throw it he sees it leave my hand or he is totally lost. He can't hear it drop.

[squarebarb]

Thanks!

[Moose4]

Add me to the ping list please. As the proud new owner (or slave, depending on your viewpoint!) of a four-month-old purebred Maine Coon Cat, I think I'm going to need a support group! We got him from the breeder (Ohiyesa Cattery, Augusta, Georgia) yesterday, and he's settling in quite well.

Anyway, here is Livingston the cat, four months old, already over seven pounds:

And here he is discovering a new use for my spare computer...

}:-)4

[Moose4]

DOH! Forgot some HTML tags...sorry all :(

}:-)4

[NautiNurse]

Isis watching D.C. watching the Viking Kitties:

[Lady Jag]

You have my cats! Two of my four are Murphy and Sam, first of all. Another has "The Stare" and 6# Sam tries to tackle me when I walk by her (probably wants me to genuflect).

[Lady Jag]

It's a two syllable name she could say quite clearly and it freaked out anyone who heard it.

Talk about hearing, how has DC adapted? I've never known a deaf animal.

[abner]

Talk about hearing, how has DC adapted? I've never known a deaf animal.

All of my cats are indoor animals. With DC it is more imperative that he doesn't go outside. He seems like a normal cat actually. Other than we have to let him know when we get home if he is sleeping. We also don't just pet him if he is sleeping. We try to make some sort of vibration around him first. When he meows, he can be very loud. He is a clod. Most cats when they knock something over, they learn not to do it again because the sound frightens them. DC is the proverbial bull in the china shop. He doesn't hear when he is wreaking havoc... Also, the vacuum fascinates him. . I've read that a lot of deaf cats will ride the vacuum cleaner. DC hasn't done that yet, but he isn't fearful of it either.

[Lucy Lake]

Ping. Check out pictures at # 6. Adorable kitten.

[Lady Jag]

DC sounds more relaxed that I'd have thought a deaf (8 mo?) cat would be. He'd probably be a complete nervous twitch if he was an outdoor cat, knowing his life would be shorter than most.

You want to have fun? Get a Roomba, the robot vacuum cleaner, from irobot.com. Not only does it pick up cat hair better than any vac I've had, but because it's tiny and quiet and goes around all by itself, it entertains the cats like nothing else.

[abner]

I was thinking of getting a Roomba. The thing holding me back is that I've never heard a real person say they work... I'm going to look into it more now... Thanks.

[Lady Jag]

I've had my Roomba for three months and hardly use the other vac at all anymore. You can learn a lot about it at Roomba Users Group. It has a huge fan club and they, too, rave about it picking up hair and fur so well.

You only need to use your regular vac for edges and stair treads. Roomba has sensors that won't let it go down stairs. A few months ago, posters to the Roomba club on Yahoo were experimenting with it on countertops and apparently, all Roombas passed the test.

[abner]

Wow. I think I'm going to get one. Will it travel over cat toys? Or will it just move them out of the way? We have lots of cat toys under our bed... I'm hoping it will move them out from under the bed. My bed has dressers on either side so I can't access underneath without removing the mattress.

[Lady Jag]

Roomba, mine's name is Rosie, is a lot tougher than you would think from the mfr.'s instructions and some comments in the Yahoo Club, but you can have trouble with small objects.

It pushes some things around yet it can tend to attempt to swallow things. Yesterday it tried to swallow a catnip bag and it got really quiet but took a long time to complain.

It has a vocabulary of sorts. If it's in trouble, it'll beep like "uh-oh!" When finished, it'll beep and elongated "ta-da!", something like "doo dilly do-di-do".

You'd need a way to retrieve Roomba if it tried to suck up a cat toy, like a shepherd's hook or something. Or you can do what I did and wait for something to happen - but I have only a couple feet to reach, not a whole bed.