Dimensional Door - Freeople Thread 14

[Cuttnhorse]

Buying gifts for men is really quite easy:

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1: When in doubt -- buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks, Shorts. Cups. saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's
stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks!)

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Tickets to a Saints game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

Rule #15: Beer. You can hardley ever go wrong with that. There are exceptions to this rule. Flavored beer... Big mistake. Have you ever yacked up Blueberies?

Nuff said.

HAPPY SHOPPING!!

[Mo1]

How about these things .. he's been wanting these for when he goes hunting .. but I'm not sure which ones are the best to get

Any of you guys have suggestions on the best one to get?

Motorola T5920 NiCd GMRS Two-Way Radios (2-Pack)

[Mo1]

We always get Rule #15 for my dad in law .. LOL

[.38sw]

I bought my husband an airless sprayer for Christmas. Whoopee. But, he'll be thrilled! I already got my present - a .41 caliber smith & wesson revolver, with absolutely gorgeous flawless blueing. Yippee!

[ValerieUSA]

uh-oh
gotta change your handle
.41sw

[.38sw]

Rule #15: Beer. You can hardley ever go wrong with that.

That's what I'm buying again this year for my hubby's sister's husbands. I don't really know what they'd like or want, and I AIN'T buying them any clothing. So, beer it is. They got beer last year, too, and they seemed delighted.

[.38sw]

Well, I also have a .44 mag. So, let's see .44, .38, .41. Yuck.

[Servant of the 9]

Well, I also have a .44 mag. So, let's see .44, .38, .41. Yuck.

I seem to remember you also have a .22 and a few .45swhich gives a much more interesting .45, .22, .38

[ValerieUSA]

There you are!!!

[.38sw]

Yeah, among other assorted calibers. :)

I don't have a .454 yet, nor a .50. Collect the set, as they say...

[Conservababe]

Drat, Darn and Damn...I was all set to go Christmas shopping today and my van wouldn't start. So now it is in the shop.

They tell me it needs a new starter and a floater thingamagigee on my heater. I kept wondering why the heat would come out of the heat setting one time and the vent or defrost setting the next. This will cost a pretty penny, I'm sure.

Lord love a duck, I don't know why things don't last anymore. After all, it is an 88 Aerostar van with only 61,300 miles. I guess you can tell I am a homebody. LOL

[Conservababe]

I don't think S09 is talking about your calliburs. LOL Or then, again, maybe he is.

[.38sw]

Shopping on the internet works! I've actually done quite a bit of my shopping via the internet. Saves a lot of wear and tear on me, and has probably saved quite a few obnoxious people at the mall from being beaten senseless.

I guess you ARE a homebody. My car is a '98, and I have around 84000 miles on it.

[ValerieUSA]

*L* I had 1990 aerostar that had 189,000 miles on it when I traded it in in 1997

[.38sw]

Hee hee. I know. I start it out with the 44, 38, 41 thing.

[Conservababe]

Oh, I have gotten most of my shopping done on the internet. Thank goodness for E-bay, I tell you. I have gotten all new things for about a third the price.

It is these dang stocking stuffers that drive me crazy trying to find.

[Conservababe]

Yes, I like Fords. My husband is a Chevy truck guy and his already is falling apart. LOL

I live in the largest town between St Louis and Memphis. So, actually, there is nowhere to drive to, unless a two hour drive to the city. So, I just stay home, and it takes 8 minutes to drive clear across town. LOL

[sweetliberty]

First batch is done. Where shall I send them?

.

[Servant of the 9]

I don't have a .454 yet, nor a .50. Collect the set, as they say...

how about the .475 Linebaugh or .480 Ruger?

So9

[.38sw]

MMMMMMM! Cookies! A layer of bubble wrap, a single layer of cookies, a layer of bubble wrap, a single layer of cookies - repeat until out of cookies.