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My hubby likes the 12 gauge ;)

From someone who needs lessons:

Is a 12 gauge hard or large to handle, want my teens to learn?

What about the kickback of it?

Living in a city that disallows handguns, where do we get taught how to shoot it and gun-safety?

JP: Actually, 12 Ga. kick is not too bad, at least as long as you're not shooting deer slugs. You will want to get used to firing it, so I would suggest some range time, or if you have a friend or relative out away from the urban area who has at least a few acres, maybe try that. A Saturday morning spent plinking at coke bottles and cardboard targets will be much more education than anyone can give you online. As far as safety training is concerned - I would highly recommend a standard Hunter Education Class. Any reputable gunshop should be able to point you in the right direction. This would be good for you and your teens. In hardly no time, you could become "armed and ~~dangerous~~ safe!"

I don't think a 12 gage is hard to handle and I'm a average size woman. My husband fixed one up for me with a (gun people here will probably say I'm getting the terminology wrong!) hard plastic short stock/grip, so that makes it lighter, and a little red laser light. Besides, if you had to use one in a defensive manner your adrenaline would be going and you wouldn't be thinking about the weight. That would also apply to the kick. Since it's a shotgun (long barrel) the kick is less than a high caliber handgun (short barrel). But, no, I don't think it's heavy or cumbersome at all. I am also biased because I love to shoot. We live way out in the sticks and shoot all the time; it's a great hobby.
Best thing to do is for you and your husband to go to a gun shop and see how they feel to you.
As far as gun safety, which is the first thing you want to learn, call your local NRA chapter and ask them for a list of NRA certified dealers. The NRA has a website which would probably list your local NRA chapter. They could also fill you in on the laws in your state and recommend reputable dealers and a good shooting range.
Freepmail me (don't want to get the thread off track) with more questions if you like.