Posted on 08/20/2026 2:35:16 PM PDT by DFG
U.S. โ The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England.
Citizens wept openly in the streets, wondering how America would be able to carry on without the charming couple.
"No! Not Harry and Meghan! Anyone but them!" cried local man Daniel Simpson. "This is like the Great Depression and 9/11 all rolled into one. I have not stopped crying and punching the wall since I heard the news. We are losing the most delightful and beautiful thing about our dear nation. Who will we even be without Harry and Meghan?"
President Trump ordered that today be a national day of mourning in recognition of America's tremendous loss. "It's so terrible. Tragic, really," said Trump in a statement. "We'd never had a prince in America before, and then we got one, and it was so beautiful. Now they're moving back to England, and no one knows why, because it's a horrible place these days. You look at the people being arrested for posting memes, very funny memes, and you can't believe it. Anyway, they're going back there, so we're going to lose a prince and a duchess, I believe that's what she's called, 'duchess,' it's a very big deal. It's very sad, I know we're all very sad about it, me especially, I'm the most sad, probably."
At publishing time, a grieving America had begged the couple to please record a new Netflix show so we could try to stay in touch with their lives.
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If you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere. Griffters gotta grift. Bye๐ถ
People are rioting here at BWW! Okay maybe not.
People are rioting here at BWW! Okay maybe not.
Donโt let the door hit your big ass on the way out, Meghan
The Post Office lady was inconsolable, sobbing “Hoo hoo hoo” into a handkerchief - oh, wait a minute, I think it was “Who? Who? Who?”
๐๐๐๐๐!
But I thought she was going to run for President.
Even Santa Claus called her a “ho” not once but three times.
They now own 3 homes: UK, US, and Portugal.
The Bee got me again! LOL!
Braking news - people who do nothing found it to be too expensive.
The Markles know which side the bread is buttered on.
As in,
Day 1: Harry and Meghan might be leaving the US.
Day 2: Harry and Meghan are probably leaving the US.
Day 3: Harry and Meghan are leaving the US.
I am distressed by this news. And my cat is taking it even worse.
ROFL! TYVM!
I feel sorry for their kids Archie and Lilibet (their full names—not Archibald and Elizabeth).
If by ‘Descends into mourning” they mean “Meh- couldn’t care what the entitled brats do”, then yeah, we’re in irreversible mourning
It’s a true headline, most have moved through the first 4 Kubler-Ross stages of grief to stage 5- acceptance.
We still have the Fresh Prince!
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