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America Descends Into Mourning Upon News That Harry And Meghan Are Leaving
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/20/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/20/2026 2:35:16 PM PDT by DFG

U.S. โ€” The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England.

Citizens wept openly in the streets, wondering how America would be able to carry on without the charming couple.

"No! Not Harry and Meghan! Anyone but them!" cried local man Daniel Simpson. "This is like the Great Depression and 9/11 all rolled into one. I have not stopped crying and punching the wall since I heard the news. We are losing the most delightful and beautiful thing about our dear nation. Who will we even be without Harry and Meghan?"

President Trump ordered that today be a national day of mourning in recognition of America's tremendous loss. "It's so terrible. Tragic, really," said Trump in a statement. "We'd never had a prince in America before, and then we got one, and it was so beautiful. Now they're moving back to England, and no one knows why, because it's a horrible place these days. You look at the people being arrested for posting memes, very funny memes, and you can't believe it. Anyway, they're going back there, so we're going to lose a prince and a duchess, I believe that's what she's called, 'duchess,' it's a very big deal. It's very sad, I know we're all very sad about it, me especially, I'm the most sad, probably."

At publishing time, a grieving America had begged the couple to please record a new Netflix show so we could try to stay in touch with their lives.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: meghanmarkle; princeharry

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1 posted on 08/20/2026 2:35:16 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

If you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere. Griffters gotta grift. Bye๐ŸŒถ


2 posted on 08/20/2026 2:40:34 PM PDT by rktman (Patriotism not 'hateriotism' !. Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ)
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To: rktman

People are rioting here at BWW! Okay maybe not.


3 posted on 08/20/2026 2:45:07 PM PDT by The Free Engineer
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To: rktman

People are rioting here at BWW! Okay maybe not.


4 posted on 08/20/2026 2:45:08 PM PDT by The Free Engineer
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To: DFG

Donโ€™t let the door hit your big ass on the way out, Meghan


5 posted on 08/20/2026 2:48:03 PM PDT by albie
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To: DFG

The Post Office lady was inconsolable, sobbing “Hoo hoo hoo” into a handkerchief - oh, wait a minute, I think it was “Who? Who? Who?”


6 posted on 08/20/2026 2:50:23 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: The Free Engineer

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚!


7 posted on 08/20/2026 2:51:07 PM PDT by rktman (Patriotism not 'hateriotism' !. Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ)
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To: albie

But I thought she was going to run for President.


8 posted on 08/20/2026 2:54:17 PM PDT by shelterguy
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To: DFG

Even Santa Claus called her a “ho” not once but three times.


9 posted on 08/20/2026 2:56:00 PM PDT by BipolarBob (Directive 10 -289 will be forthcoming.)
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To: DFG

They now own 3 homes: UK, US, and Portugal.


10 posted on 08/20/2026 2:58:10 PM PDT by DownInFlames (p)
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To: DFG

The Bee got me again! LOL!


11 posted on 08/20/2026 2:59:21 PM PDT by Fresh Wind
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To: DFG

Braking news - people who do nothing found it to be too expensive.


12 posted on 08/20/2026 3:06:20 PM PDT by Libloather (Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
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To: DFG

The Markles know which side the bread is buttered on.


13 posted on 08/20/2026 3:13:25 PM PDT by mac_truck (aide toi et dieu t'aiera)
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To: DFG
The announcement should have been broken to us more gently.

As in,

Day 1: Harry and Meghan might be leaving the US.
Day 2: Harry and Meghan are probably leaving the US.
Day 3: Harry and Meghan are leaving the US.

I am distressed by this news. And my cat is taking it even worse.


14 posted on 08/20/2026 3:21:04 PM PDT by Leaning Right
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To: Leaning Right
I am distressed by this news. And my cat is taking it even worse.

ROFL! TYVM!

15 posted on 08/20/2026 3:22:41 PM PDT by Golden Eagle (Donโ€™t let conservatism die, especially not in the name of crony capitalist power)
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To: DFG

I feel sorry for their kids Archie and Lilibet (their full names—not Archibald and Elizabeth).


16 posted on 08/20/2026 3:27:14 PM PDT by Fiji Hill (agles)
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To: DFG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N8_5LDkZwY


17 posted on 08/20/2026 3:33:34 PM PDT by devane617 (Facts Do Not Matter To Those On The Leftโ€”It's Their God.)
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To: DFG

If by ‘Descends into mourning” they mean “Meh- couldn’t care what the entitled brats do”, then yeah, we’re in irreversible mourning


18 posted on 08/20/2026 3:46:19 PM PDT by Bob434 (Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana)
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To: DFG

It’s a true headline, most have moved through the first 4 Kubler-Ross stages of grief to stage 5- acceptance.


19 posted on 08/20/2026 4:06:02 PM PDT by sopo
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To: DFG

We still have the Fresh Prince!


20 posted on 08/20/2026 4:15:16 PM PDT by maro (MAGA!)
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