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Death Row Inmates Watching Porn [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/16/2026 9:38:51 AM PDT by John Semmens

In California, 90,000 prisoners have been issued computer tablets so they can connect with the outside world. While the tablets are free, usage fees may be charged to inmates. Text messages are five cents each. Video calls are 16 cents per minute. Movie rentals are $9 each and must be viewed within 48 hours. Inmate Grace Coleman complained "we can't afford to pay these normal world prices."

State Sen. Josh Becker (D-13th district) agrees and says "it's the injustice of the whole thing. And not only injustice, but also the illogical nature of charging in a world where telecommunications costs are moving closer to free. I consider it unconstitutional cruel and unusual punishment."

Inmate Robert Maury, a serial rapist and murderer, boasts that "I use my tablet to view porn and exchange nude photos and videos with my fans. I received a topless photo from a 22 year-old German psychology student who wanted to do a class project on me. I flirted with her for a while, but I lost interest. I mean, I'm on death row. I can't have any serious relationships with anyone because I'll never get out of here alive."

Inmate Nathaniel Ray Diaz has used his tablet to make calls to a girl he was accused of sexually abusing and threatened her with a gun if she didn't send him sexually explicit images. Eventually he received the photos via a third party.

California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDRC) spokesperson Indira Poon called the claims that inmates were using the tablets to view porn or send threatening messages "a hoax. They have received strict orders not to do this and are at risk of losing these privileges if they do. They are under constant surveillance and have no opportunity to evade the rules. The whole point of this program is to help prepare these inmates for their eventual release when Gov. Newsom pardons them before he leaves office."

Douglas Eckenrod, retired Deputy Director for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation Division of Adult Parole Operations, expressed skepticism about the tablet program, saying "the current CDRC has created a pathway for criminals to reach out and groom folks. There are going to be victims that didn't need to have been victims because of these decisions."


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: california; democrats; pardons; satire

1 posted on 05/16/2026 9:38:51 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I wouldn’t call that rehabilitation. The prisoners will come out of there creepier than before.


2 posted on 05/16/2026 9:52:00 AM PDT by KittyKares
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To: John Semmens

ONE CLICK DOES THE TRICK
RAB VIDEO LINK!
CAUTION: SOME OF THESE HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO CAUSE SERIOUS MENTAL PROBLEMS FOR LEFTISTS!
https://www.youtube.com/@gunkadink/videos


3 posted on 05/16/2026 12:58:07 PM PDT by Dick Bachert
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