Posted on 01/02/2026 11:13:48 AM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With allegations of money laundering in Minnesota and other states growing by the day, Republican lawmakers in Washington have vowed to uncover all Somali fraud in Minnesota and then do nothing about it except to fundraise for future elections.
"It is absolutely vital that we uncover as much fraud in Minnesota as possible so that we can fundraise off it," Senate Majority Leader John Thune said. "Some of us have elections coming up."
According to sources, fundraising off suspected Somali fraud may finally be the single issue that unites all Republicans. "If we do the hard work, and I mean really pull up our sleeves and get dirty, we could fundraise off of this for a long time," said Senator Tom Cotton. "This fraud is disgusting and also really, really welcome from a fundraising standpoint. We should get some more Somali people over here. That could really be shot in the arm for our campaigns."
Thus far, the known fraud in Minnesota committed by the Somali community, and those in support of it, has exceeded $18 billion. Republican lawmakers assured the American people that they remained committed to their number one issue: fundraising.
"If people don't vote for us, then there will be no one to fundraise for future Republican elections," House Speaker Mike Johnson said. "Somali fraud? What's that? Can I fundraise off it?"
At publishing time, congressional Republicans moved forward with legislation that would increase immigration from Somalia, so things could get worse, and they could campaign on promising to fix it.
TRUTH
Unfortunately.
The Babylon Bee: America’s most prophetic news source
Well, there will be a good deal of pontificating as well.
Once again satire sadly reflects reality.
Ted Cruz, for one, will take a trip to the Caribbean
Ted Cruz, for one, will take a trip to the Caribbean
Not that there’s anything WRONG with that
Apparently, the New Years Resolution at Babylon Bee is to only publish true stories in 2026
TRUTH
*************
It sure is. This is no parody or exaggeration — its the hard truth.
The GOP is like a facade; there’s nothing behind the false front.
They all suck.
This crap has been going on for at least 25 years; I was involved in analyzing DHS data in a large state when Bill Clinton was in office. At that time most of the fraud was about food stamps (now SNAP) and AFDC. The majority of the scammers were Hispanic back then. The fraud is built into the bureaucratic cake folks, the administrators want the fraud because more fraud means more money coming in and that lets them grow the system.
Nothing will happen; it’s why we are $100 trillion in the hole.
LOL! And they’re off to a good start. :)
More accurate.
Ain’t that the truth.
Only difference between Blondi and Kim Kardashian is Blondi somehow passed the bar exam.
Yep. That sounds about right.
Not much can be done because of the kinds of people who serve on MN juries. They are so “compassionate” that they will excuse all manner of evil.
Yep. It actually is. Congress are all Somalians.
This could be Fox’s headline next Monday.
LOL bazinga
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