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Scientists Demand Continued Funding [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 April 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/08/2025 10:15:49 AM PDT by John Semmens

Nearly 2,000 members of the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine signed an open letter demanding that the federal subsidies they have been receiving for decades must not be discontinued. In the letter they said "we hold diverse political beliefs, but we are united as researchers in wanting to continue our work without being interrupting by the cost-cutting mania unleashed by the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). The assertion that research must be of benefit to justify taxing the public to pay for it is a formula for fostering ignorance."

"No one really knows what is useful before it is thoroughly researched by experts like ourselves," the second paragraph began. "Sure, simple scientific facts like gravity don't have to be funded because everyone can see that dropped objects fall to the ground. However, more difficult projects like finding out why monkeys throw feces or whether giving cocaine to bees will make them work harder take the kind of creative research that only free money can buy."

"If our country's government-subsidized research is dismantled, we will lose our scientific edge," the letter adds. "Other countries will lead the development of novel diseases, exotic energy sources, and the new technologies of the future. Their populations will be healthier, and their economies will surpass us in business, defense, intelligence gathering, and monitoring our planet's health. The damage to our nation's scientific enterprise could take decades to reverse."

"Then there is the human cost of federal budget cuts," the concluding paragraph points out. "Remember, the folks who generate and carry out creative research projects need to make a living to support themselves and their families. Do the American people want to allow the DOGE folks to push us into the commercial rat race just so we can put food on the table? This is what will happen if we allow the kind of cuts Musk and his minions want to force on the federal spending budget. Then where will all the new ideas come from?"

Musk suggested that "new ideas that are worthwhile will attract investors hoping to profit from the development and implementation of those ideas. This is the key difference between an efficient free market economy and a wasteful dispersal of wealth taxed from those who have generated it and give to inefficient, impractical, and corrupt uses--plenty of examples of which the DOGE team found in our audits of the government agencies we visited. The reinvestment of profits from useful ideas is what makes the world wealthier. The consumption of wealth by useless ideas is what retards the growth of prosperity and threatens to sink our society in an ocean of debt and destruction."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Science
KEYWORDS: braindrain; musk; satire; subsidies

1 posted on 04/08/2025 10:15:50 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Gotta finish the shrimp on the treadmill study and if cockroaches are “binary” critters.


2 posted on 04/08/2025 10:20:03 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (Hey Jose! HANDS OFF our tax dollars, hospitals, schools, social security, jobs and our history.)
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To: John Semmens

Scientists afraid to go back the work ,LOL


3 posted on 04/08/2025 10:47:41 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens

31,000 scientists signed the Oregon Petition, urging to stop the global warming hoax!
Yet, lefties just ignored them.
So now, we can safely ignore these 2,000!


4 posted on 04/08/2025 10:58:33 AM PDT by AZJeep (sane )
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To: John Semmens

demand? they think they are special?


5 posted on 04/08/2025 12:46:22 PM PDT by b4me (Pray, and let God change you. He knows better than you or anyone else, who He made you to be.)
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To: b4me

oh they ARE special. just not in the way THEY think.


6 posted on 04/08/2025 3:13:25 PM PDT by Qwapisking ("The left will rue the day they cheated Trump out of the 2020 election forever" L.Star )
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