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Trudeau Lobbies Trump [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 January 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/05/2025 9:54:04 AM PST by John Semmens

While Trump calling Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau "Governor of America's 51st state" was intended as a joke, Trudeau is reportedly lobbying Trump to name him Governor of Canada.

"Look, in Canada's parliamentary system I'm toast," the Prime Minister lamented. "Polls show the Liberal Party in third place with only 16% voter support. Pierre Poilievre's Conservatives are at 45%. Jagmeet Singh's New Democrats are at 21%. The Atlantic Liberal caucus of my own Party is demanding my resignation."

Atlantic caucus chair and Nova Scotia MP Kody Blois insisted "it is no longer tenable for Trudeau to continue to lead our Party. Conservative MP John Williamson said he plans to introduce a non-confidence motion. If it passes in the House of Commons it would trigger an election our Party cannot win. His previous non-confidence motions were defeated because the New Democrats stood with us. Now Singh says his Party has lost confidence in Trudeau and the Liberals and will vote to trigger a new election."

"If Canada becomes the 51st state and Trump names me governor I wouldn't have to face voters until November of 2026," Trudeau assumed. "That would give me time to renew my magic with Canada's voters."

Trump said "I'm not opposed to the idea, but my top priority for acquiring new land right now is Greenland. Its strategic importance and low population make it a more attractive addition to our country. In any case, Congress is the body responsible for admitting new states. Given the vast size and diversity of Canada I imagine that Congress might want to admit each province as a state. The best that Trudeau could hope for might be governor of Ontario. But I predict that his ouster from Prime Minister would occur long before our Congress could act on whether to admit another state or states into our union."

In related news, the rate of medically assisted suicides in Canada continues to rise. Dr. Sonu Gaind, a psychiatry professor at the University of Toronto, observed that "the biggest increase is among people who are not seriously ill. The reason they died last year was because the government killed them at their request."


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: illegals; satire; suicides; tariffs

1 posted on 01/05/2025 9:54:04 AM PST by John Semmens
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