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Ray Epps Announces Resignation From FBI
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/12/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/12/2024 3:07:06 PM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal agent Ray Epps will step down from his role as head of PSYOPS at the end of the Biden administration, the agency said Thursday, ending a distinguished career of covertly manipulating the American people.

Epps said it was important to retire now and preserve his pension before he was forced out by Trump and lost it all.

"I've paid my dues," Epps said with a smile. "I've secretly been pulling the strings for the deep state a long time and it's time for me to enjoy my retirement before Trump gets on my case about inciting January 6."

FBI Director Christopher Wray, who is also stepping down at the end of the Biden administration, praised Ray Epps for the incredible work he's done turning Americans against each other. "Without Epps, America would be a downright peaceful place," he said. "We owe him a debt of gratitude."

Epps has been with the service since the 60s, first rising to prominence in the bureau thanks to his collaboration with the CIA to kill JFK. He enjoyed a long career as a Deep State agent, but after two failed Trump assassination attempts he decided it was time to throw in the towel.

"I'm slowing down a bit," Epps said, taking a long drag on a Cuban cigar. "But that doesn't mean I'm done. Maybe I'll spend some time on a beach destabilizing Argentina for a while. You gotta keep busy."

At publishing time, Epps was awarded The FBI Medal for Meritorious Achievement by President Joe Biden for his hard work destroying America.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; boom; fbi; notajoke; psyops; rayepps

1 posted on 12/12/2024 3:07:06 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

!!


2 posted on 12/12/2024 3:09:25 PM PST by avital2
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To: DFG

LOVE this Bee article. I appreciated the laugh it provided.

I wish Ray an enjoyable retirement.


3 posted on 12/12/2024 3:11:01 PM PST by House Atreides (I’m now ULTRA-MAGA-PRO-MAX.)
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To: DFG

Epps shouldn’t worry. There’s a whole world out there just chock full of people to betray.


4 posted on 12/12/2024 3:11:15 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: DFG
Oh, this is a good one!

Darn, you beat me to it!

5 posted on 12/12/2024 3:19:36 PM PST by Navy Patriot (I Voted For President Trump, Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: DFG

The BEST PART is that Western news ‘fact-checkers’ will now have to write an article claiming that Epps has no association with the FBI.


6 posted on 12/12/2024 3:21:29 PM PST by BobL
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To: DFG

Good one, Bee. 😂🤣


7 posted on 12/12/2024 3:23:11 PM PST by Allegra (Deplorable garbage)
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To: DFG

Be interesting to see the LAWSUITS by the Jan 6th Victims, should Cash finally get the TRUTH out about Ray Epps.


8 posted on 12/12/2024 3:23:35 PM PST by BobL
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To: DFG

The headline had me going for a minute.


9 posted on 12/12/2024 3:24:56 PM PST by rdl6989 ( )
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To: DFG

🤣


10 posted on 12/12/2024 3:36:44 PM PST by READINABLUESTATE (‘Never trust a man whose uncle was eaten by cannibals’)
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To: DFG

Kudos to the Babylon Bee for telling us “the rest of the story.” If Epps has been there since the ‘60s he must be in his 80s at least now. I wouldn’t have suspected it.


11 posted on 12/12/2024 3:40:13 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: DFG

I hope he reads this and is bothered. Ray Epps was comfortable in his role because he feed off the admiration. Once exposed he became a lost soul. Sad he was able to be so vain from his phony position.


12 posted on 12/12/2024 3:43:21 PM PST by TBall
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To: DFG

That man needs to hang.


13 posted on 12/12/2024 3:49:43 PM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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