Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Trump Already Getting Results [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 December 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/10/2024 8:37:11 AM PST by John Semmens

Though he won't officially take office until January 20, 2025, President-Elect Donald Trump is already getting things done. His threat to impose 25% tariffs on Mexico and Canada in retaliation for their thus far puny efforts to prevent the flow of illegal immigrants and drugs into the United States has inspired Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum to order the seizure 2400 lbs. of fentanyl before gangs could smuggle it into the US.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau flew to Mar-a-Lago to beg for mercy, saying "we are unable to impede the entry of persons and drugs from our country to the United States. Our border is long and there is no wall to deter illegal crossing." Trump slyly offered him the option of applying to Congress to become a state, saying "as a US state you wouldn't have to pay tariffs and our incoming border czar Tom Homan could help deport the criminals, jihadis, and anti-semites that are currently troubling your country."

Trudeau declined the offer to become part of the US, citing "the need for Canada to retain its historic status as a refuge for those seeking to escape American tyranny. We provided a safe haven for escaping slaves in the 1800s and for draft resisters during the Vietnam War. Currently, we are engaged in ensuring that LGBTQ persons are given the respect and admiration to which they are entitled. Just this past week we had to fine Emo $15,000--$10,000 against the township itself and $5,000 against Mayor Harold McQuaker personally--for failing to fly the rainbow pride flag during the June Pride Month celebration. To emphasize our message we are extending Pride Month to cover the entire summer starting in 2025. None of these vital achievements would've been possible if we were just another US state."

Trump didn't have to make any threats to inspire Iran to take a more conciliatory stance. Trump's election alone prompted Iran to suspended its planned retaliatory attack on Israel for killing Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar. Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran Ali Khamenei explained "with the more agreeable President Biden being replaced by the more disagreeable Mr. Trump we are now ready to negotiate a ceasefire with Israel and consider talks about moderating our rush to produce nuclear weapons."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://freerepublic.com/tag/by:johnsemmens/index?tab=articles


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: business; canada; iran; mexico; satire; travel

1 posted on 12/10/2024 8:37:11 AM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
... and for draft resisters during the Vietnam War.

Don't think we've forgotten, you scum.

2 posted on 12/10/2024 8:49:17 AM PST by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

LOL

bookmark


3 posted on 12/10/2024 10:56:21 AM PST by simpson96
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson