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NY Dem Calls for Secession [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 December 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/30/2024 11:05:59 AM PST by John Semmens

In the wake of Trump's victory in the 2024 presidential election, New York State Sen. Liz Krueger (D-Manhattan) is now proposing that "our state and the abutting woke states of Vermont, Massachusetts, and Connecticut should secede and become part of Canada. None of these states' voters wanted Trump to become our president. Why should we have to suffer through a second term of misgovernment at his hands?"

She brushed aside Trump's pledge "to help make New York safe, strong, beautiful, affordable and vibrant again," calling it "out-of-step with our progressive values. We are progressive Democrats who would fit in pretty well with the political philosophy of most of the Canadian elected officials. I've already gotten provisional agreement from several members of the Canadian Parliament who like the idea of boosting their country's population by 75% and gaining control of the port of New York City."

A potential impediment to the Senator's aspirations is Prime Minister Trudeau's announcement of "a two year pause in all immigration into Canada and preserve the national character of our population. We like to think of ourselves as a welcoming people, but the quality of the kinds of people who have been coming here is far beneath our standards. Senator Krueger's proposal is out of the question. First, the last attempted secession by several US states led to a bloody war with 750,000 fatalities. Second, the 20 million New Yorkers that would be added to our population can't help but destroy our manners and lower our nation's average IQ."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: canada; progressives; satire; trudeau

1 posted on 11/30/2024 11:05:59 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Nothing would be better for this country than to have NY secede. With no military, in less than a year, western NY would split away and either rejoin the US or form friendly relations. I would gladly trade NY’s coastline to rid my country of 20 million leftists.


2 posted on 11/30/2024 11:19:04 AM PST by RightOnTheBorder
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To: John Semmens

How long is it going to take them to pack and haul their wide loads?


3 posted on 11/30/2024 11:19:17 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Okay Kamala! Where the hell is the "billion and a half" bucks?)
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To: John Semmens

Freddie’s sister Liz really needs to see a shrink! She definitely has “issues”.


4 posted on 11/30/2024 11:20:30 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Okay Kamala! Where the hell is the "billion and a half" bucks?)
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To: John Semmens

I wonder if Lizzie Krueger is smart enough to be embarrassed to hear the Canadians say they don’t want those idiots in their country either.


5 posted on 11/30/2024 11:30:23 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Okay Kamala! Where the hell is the "billion and a half" bucks?)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

That is a lot of folks who now must watch out for that spring-loaded door from smacking them in the butt on their way to canada. Good luck with Trudeau.


6 posted on 11/30/2024 11:37:11 AM PST by oldtech
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To: John Semmens

This article was written tomorrow.


7 posted on 11/30/2024 12:22:44 PM PST by enumerated (81 million votes my ass)
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