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Satire : Kamala Officially Unburdened By Sobriety
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/27/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/27/2024 9:37:09 AM PST by DFG

U.S. — Vice President Kamala Harris released a video to let followers know that with the Presidential race over, she is now completely unburdened by sobriety.

Kamala called for supporters to imagine what could be, such as getting totally blitzed on a random Tuesday -- unburdened by what has been, such as not drinking two bottles of merlot and washing it down with a Dixie cup full of trash can punch.

"You guys... you guys. You're so powerful, and pretty, and UGH! Don't, don't--burp--don't, don't ever let anyone take your power from you. Don't you leave your power lying around, like an old sock. You promise me," said Kamala, a tear rolling down her cheek. "You guys. Why didn't Beyoncé sing? Just like, not even one single lady?"

Secret Service agents explained it felt like old times again, before the campaign. "It's nice to get back to the familiar," explained Agent Sam Reynolds as he tried to get Harris to have some sips of water. "Trying to keep her sober for 107 straight days was a nightmare, and frankly, filled with failure. It really is a burden lifted."

At publishing time, local police officers had received several reports of a woman erratically driving a yellow school bus down Pennsylvania Avenue.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; kamala
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1 posted on 11/27/2024 9:37:09 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

HaHa!!! They jumped on this one quickly.


2 posted on 11/27/2024 9:41:48 AM PST by fwdude (Why is there a "far/radical right," but damned if they'll admit that there is a far/radical left?)
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To: fwdude

It was low hanging fruit. My comment on that vid to some others was drunk, stoned, or both?


3 posted on 11/27/2024 9:52:08 AM PST by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: DFG

What was the DNC thinking having that depressing setup and execution? You want to give people hope and not depress them.


4 posted on 11/27/2024 9:58:51 AM PST by struggle
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To: DFG

She was hung over and perhaps still a bit drunk from the night before. That happens with heavy drinkers, liver can’t process it fast enough after years of abuse and they wake up tipsy, have one drink due to DTs and they’re drunk.


5 posted on 11/27/2024 10:05:14 AM PST by SaxxonWoods (Black guy upon receiving a MAGA hat: "MURICA!")
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To: SaxxonWoods

Oh, and some are saying this was the Dem machine’s goodbye to her just like they did Biden. Show her wiped out and bye-bye, just like Biden’s planned debate disaster.


6 posted on 11/27/2024 10:07:19 AM PST by SaxxonWoods (Black guy upon receiving a MAGA hat: "MURICA!")
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To: SaxxonWoods

It doesn’t look like she’s going all that gently into the night.


7 posted on 11/27/2024 10:17:49 AM PST by Lauren BaRecall (Breathe more and feed a plant! 🌼)
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To: DFG

No wonder she wanted lower prescription drug costs, what isn’t she on?


8 posted on 11/27/2024 10:20:36 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: DFG

Don’t add “satire” to the Bees title. It takes away its impact and fun.


9 posted on 11/27/2024 10:25:22 AM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they. control you. )
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To: DFG

Rehabala


10 posted on 11/27/2024 10:25:46 AM PST by bigbob (Yes. We ARE going back!)
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To: aquila48

I added “Satire” to the title because the Admin Moderator added “Satire” to my Babylon Bee post yesterday.


11 posted on 11/27/2024 10:27:02 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

The moderator is an idiot. If you preannounce something is satire it takes all the sting, effect out of it.

Leave it out!


12 posted on 11/27/2024 10:49:24 AM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they. control you. )
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To: FreedomPoster

The eye droop was a dead giveaway from a raging hangover while still feeling alcohol. I know that feeling.


13 posted on 11/27/2024 10:58:55 AM PST by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: aquila48
You may have forgotten this thread from some time ago, posted by Jim Robinson: A word about posting satire.

He specifically requested 'If you post satire, please label it as "satire" in the title'.

14 posted on 11/27/2024 11:10:03 AM PST by ken in texas
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To: ken in texas

A lot of times people need to add /s to their posts. I didn’t always because I thought it was obvious. But not everyone gets it.

I was having a serious discussion with my doctor when I came up with, with all the health benifits of quitting smoking I was contemplating starting smoking so I could get the benefits of quitting. He didn’t get it right away:)


15 posted on 11/27/2024 11:33:11 AM PST by Cold Heart
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To: ken in texas

Makes no sense. It ruins satire.


16 posted on 11/27/2024 12:01:02 PM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they. control you. )
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To: DFG

“Does anyone have a White Bronco I can borrow?”


17 posted on 11/27/2024 12:05:45 PM PST by AppyPappy (If Hitler were alive today and criticized Trump, would he still be Hitler?)
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To: DFG

She looks like she took a half bottle of Xanax and chased it with gin.


18 posted on 11/27/2024 12:08:47 PM PST by Bullish (Socialism is a weed that blooms into communism, the tyranny that strangles liberty.)
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To: aquila48
The moderator is an idiot.

You just told Jim that to his face on his site. Would you like a re-do?

19 posted on 11/27/2024 12:13:40 PM PST by Bullish (Socialism is a weed that blooms into communism, the tyranny that strangles liberty.)
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To: DFG

About the only job left for her is in the hyena cage at the zoo.


20 posted on 11/27/2024 12:34:26 PM PST by Vaduz
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