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On Good Customer Service
self | 6 February 2024 | vanity

Posted on 08/11/2024 5:18:26 AM PDT by arthurus

This is by a close relative who doesn't like to be public.

On Good Customer Service Feb. 6th, 2024 02:23 pm

I used to work in customer service. The company I worked for sold inventory on ebay. Started out small, got bigger, there were a lot of boxes to manage. We inspected stuff, packed it up in bubble wrap, stuck it into unsealed boxes, and had a fairly large, complex shelving/filing system for storing all these very anonymous-looking boxes, and being able to find them again when the item was purchased, so we chould then tape up the box, slap a label on it, and ship it to the customer. Occasionally things would go a bit wrong, we'd get angry emails from customers who didn't get what they ordered, or something would get lost in the inventory room... and that was an all-hands-on-deck crisis. We had to find and ship the thing, or refund the customer, ASAP, because our ratings on ebay would take a dive if we didn't.

Lately, we have a border crisis in the US. People from all over the world are streaming across our border. There are plenty of reasons for this on their end: the countries they are coming from are poor, corrupt, and in economic chaos. The US is rich. Who wouldn't? On our end, the problem is that, like Canada or any other sensible-about-immigration country, we used to make people apply for immigration through an embassy, in another country. I know all the MAGAs out there are all about "build the wall" and stuff, but you know what? A physical wall isn't the most effective way to deal with the problem. Trump never built the wall, but he did massively slow down the influx. How? "Wait in Mexico". That's it. It was very simple-- if you want to have your immigration considered, you apply from somewhere else and you wait somewhere else. We will not consider applications made from people illegally inside the US. Trump did that with an executive order, and Biden undid it on his first day in office. He could also reinstate it, or some similar measure, AT ANY TIME.

Why isn't he doing it? Why isn't anyone in DC even suggesting it? Not Democrats, not Republicans, nope, everybody can whinge about "the migrant crisis" and milk it for porkbarrel $$$, but nobody actually wants to do the totally obvious thing to solve the problem. What's going on there?

The problem is that pretty much everybody with an office in DC has been purchased. Who has purchased them? Entities who favor untrammeled migration of the world's poor into the US. Who would want that? Hostile foreign governments, for one. Probably Weffies, who desperately want to destabilize the entire West for their own dumb ends. Certainly the UN is involved. China seems to be using the migration as cover to insert quite significant numbers of loyal Chinese nationals into our borders. They're definitely greasing palms. Nobody in Congress, or the White House, is acting in the interest of the American people. They are theoretically our representatives, who are getting paid to enact the will of the people, and look after the interests of their states, their country, and the electorate.

And yet. Crickets. Even from the "rogue" congresspeople who make a big fuss over being heroes of the people.

I propose that this is a customer service problem, and has a forthright customer service solution. We in the US have an enormous shipping backlog of products that have been purchased by foreign governments, private investors, corporate entities, and weird patchwork monsters like the UN. They've purchased our politicians, our media, our social media, and many government functionaries, and have never received delivery of their purchases. That's inexcusable, it's a customer service crisis, and we need all hands on deck to fix it as soon as possible. A massive inventory audit needs to be performed, and all products that have been paid for, should be shipped immediately to their buyers. Sold out to China? -- express airmail to Beijing! As shipping is very expensive for packages that size, and the products have very little real monetary value, refunds may be offered for damaged products, but no returns. There will of course be complications with many politicians having been purchased by multiple buyers. This is probably an issue with the console and certainly needs to be addressed on the back end. In the meantime, any product with multiple buyers should be divided proportionally between them, and shipped separately. Since the inventory problem is so huge, and so pernicious, shipping audits should be performed quarterly thereafter, to prevent the problem getting so out of hand in the future.

It's just good business. Tags: satire


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: export; migrants

1 posted on 08/11/2024 5:18:26 AM PDT by arthurus
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To: arthurus
There will of course be complications with many politicians having been purchased by multiple buyers. This is probably an issue with the console and certainly needs to be addressed on the back end.

A dose of anesthetic and some tools can easily divvy up the offending Congressman to send part of him to each of his purchasers.

2 posted on 08/11/2024 5:31:18 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: arthurus

This article doesn’t flow or make sense.


3 posted on 08/11/2024 6:31:13 AM PDT by ealgeone
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To: ealgeone

The OP suggests that we deliver politicians that have been bought to their buyers.

It’s written in a tone of “tongue in cheek.”

I think it’s clever.


4 posted on 08/11/2024 6:55:46 AM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: ealgeone
This article doesn’t flow or make sense.

I got the same takeaway. Just some awful ramblings about someone who worked in customer service and tried to correlate it to politics.
5 posted on 08/11/2024 7:39:09 AM PDT by Aut Pax Aut Bellum (Civil War 2.0 is so close...)
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To: Aut Pax Aut Bellum

Very kommielaesque.


6 posted on 08/11/2024 7:48:32 AM PDT by ealgeone
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