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NY Gov's Plan to End Shoplifting [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 January 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/17/2024 10:43:11 AM PST by John Semmens

Declaring that shoplifting is out-of-control, Gov. Kathy Hochul (D-NY) has asked the state legislature to outlaw retail shops. "As long as there are shops where people can steal merchandise there will be shoplifting," she declared. "So, if we want to get to the root of the problem we must get rid of the shops."

In their place Hochul proposes to establish a state-owned and operated merchandise distribution system. "This system will determine each individual's needs and allocate items sufficient to meet those needs," she announced. "Private possession of money will be banned, as will the exchange of money for goods and services. There will be no money to grub. Profiteering will be impossible. Greed will be abolished. There will be no need for anyone to steal anything. Everything anyone needs will simply be provided to them by the government."

Former First Lady Michelle Obama hailed Hochul's plan "as the embodiment of Barrack's vision for the transformation of this country. It will put an end to those who complain that the government doesn't do anything for them because once Gov. Hochul's plan is implemented the government will be the only institution that can do everything for everyone. Harmony will replace haggling. Everyone will be collectively responsible to everyone. No one will be outside the collective. America will enjoy the total unity that the country's founding fathers thwarted by choosing liberty over solidarity."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,521869.0.html


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: communism; crime; democrats; hochul; obama; satire

1 posted on 01/17/2024 10:43:11 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I wonder if that has ever been successful tried before?


2 posted on 01/17/2024 10:48:55 AM PST by MCF (If my home can't be my Castle, then it will be my Alamo)
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To: John Semmens

Cut their hands off ?


3 posted on 01/17/2024 11:09:18 AM PST by butlerweave
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To: MCF

That idea seems brilliant...at least by certain standards.


4 posted on 01/17/2024 11:16:24 AM PST by oldtech
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To: John Semmens

Brilliant John!
“There will be no need to steal anything!”
LOL!
Thanks again.


5 posted on 01/17/2024 11:47:59 AM PST by BatGuano (2020 = Stolen Election. Believe it! Molon Labe.)
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